Personal Stories from those affected by sexual sin
My Lust For Sex
—by an anonymous female, age 43
Sex became an addiction to me when I was only a teenager. I became promiscuous at a very early age. My father was always too busy for me and he and my mother were divorced when I was six.
Due to rejection of love from both parents, I turned to boys to find love, and my sexual addiction only escalated from there. I always had sex with almost every boyfriend I had from the time I was 15 on. I have no idea how I didn’t get pregnant—surely it must have been the grace of God. I always fell in love with each boy, but they always dumped me after they got the sex that they wanted.
I was saved as a teenager but because of my addiction to sex, my relationship with God has always been hindered—sometimes to an almost non-existent point. During the time I dated this man (who was 8 years older than I), I encountered bisexual relationships and learned that I had a very strong appetite for sex, whether it be with a man or a woman.
During that time, I basically put God on the shelf because I felt that God would rather I be hot or cold, and if I were lukewarm He would spew me out of his mouth.
I now get on the Internet and go into chat rooms and have cybersex with anyone I can find—male or female. As usual I’ve put God on the shelf because there is no way I can pray to Him and ask for His forgiveness knowing fully well that when my hormones rage again, I will continue in my quest to fulfill my lust.
I’ve written a Christian message board site and asked for prayer. I didn’t get specific about my problems, just that I was failing and falling into a bottomless pit. My husband has participated sometimes and has been addicted to porn since he was also in his twenties. However, he gets convicted and goes back to church where I cannot. I cannot play games with God. I know I need deliverance, but I don’t know if I can give up my lusts just yet. I need help!
Please pray for me and the other women who also suffer from this addiction. It’s not just a man’s addiction any longer…