Personal Stories from those affected by sexual sin
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Tim Wilkins of Cross Ministry
Masturbation and Same-sex Attraction
—by anonymous male, age 21
I’m a 21 year old male and I want to share something with you. You see, I too with many other Christian guys struggled with masturbation, but it did not end there. It all started when I was 13 years old and at a friend’s house. His parents were not home and we were in his room when he introduced me to pornography.
This introduction would soon become a very large mountain in my relationship with Jesus. At the age of 13 I saw my very first pornographic picture of a female and was immediately aroused by it. This excitement led me into discovering this spiritual giant called masturbation.
Masturbation soon became a normal thing for me even while growing up in a Christian home and knowing Jesus as Lord at the same time. I soon began to feed my desire with more porno and even lustful thoughts of others, but it did not stop here. Around the age of 14, this desire of masturbating soon gave way to lustful thoughts and dreams of the same sex. I began to wonder and dream about masturbating with another [guy].
[Well, eventually I did find someone and it took a while before I] began to open my eyes to what was happening to me. I broke away from this guy and told him that what I did was wrong and I did not want to see him again.
But my struggle with masturbation and gay porno continued viciously. I started to feel disgusting and dirty after I had committed my habitual sin. All the sudden I began to not enjoy masturbating as much and I began to call upon God through prayer.
For nearly 9 years I have struggled constantly with this and was so tired of the battle. God started to hear my pleas and literal cries of deliverance. He began to free me.
I am happy to tell you that God totally and completely healed and delivered me on February 17 2002. The SHACKLES that had been on me were broken off completely because I WAS DESPERATE FOR GOD TO MOVE IN MY LIFE! I have not fallen back into this pit, nor do I plan on it! I am telling you though God can and will deliver you if you are desperate enough for it. He will heal you and cause you to dig into his word.
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