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Movie Review

BloodRayne

MPAA Rating: R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity

Reviewed by: Todd Patrick
CONTRIBUTOR

Extremely Offensive
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Moviemaking Quality:

Primary Audience:
Adults
Genre:
Action, Horror, Fantasy
Length:
1 hr. 34 min.
Year of Release:
2006
USA Release:
January 6, 2006 (wide) / DVD release: May 23, 2006
Copyright, Romar Entertainment
Copyright, Romar Entertainment
Copyright, Romar Entertainment
Copyright, Romar Entertainment
Copyright, Romar Entertainment
Relevant Issues
Copyright, Romar Entertainment

Every time you buy a movie ticket or rent a video you are casting a vote telling Hollywood “That’s what I want.” Why does Hollywood continue to promote immoral programming? Are YOU part of the problem?

How does viewing violence in movies affect the family? Answer

What is the Occult? Answer

THE OCCULT—What does the Bible say about it? Answer

Featuring: Ben Kingsley, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Madsen, Geraldine Chaplin, Billy Zane, Kristanna Loken, Will Sanderson, Matt Davis, Udo Kier, Michael Pare
Director: Uwe Boll
Producer: Shawn Williamson, Dan Clarke, Wolfgang Herold
Distributor: Romar Entertainment

“Driven by revenge”

Here’s what the distributor says about their film: “In 18th century Romania, Rayne (a girl with a human mother and vampire father) possesses superhuman strength but a soft side for humans. She decides to find her vampire father who is the powerful vampire Kagan. On her journey, she is befriended by two vampire hunters and learns that there are three Talisman organs—a heart, an eye and a rib from her ancestor vampire, Beliar—which Kagan covets, that will make him so powerful that he will throw the Earth into darkness and vampires will rule forever.”

Uwe Boll’s “Bloodrayne” is a terrible movie. I can’t think of one positive thing to say about it. I guess I should have seen the signs: (1) it’s an Uwe Boll movie, (2) it’s yet another movie adaptation of a video game, (3) the preview was terrible, and (4) the studio refused to screen it in advance for critics. “Bloodrayne” is worse than the lowest budget, direct-to-video releases. It’s worse than “Frankenfish.” It’s worse than “Raptor Island.” It’s even worse than “Manos, The Hand of Fate” (one of the worst movies ever made… trust me, don’t rent it).

Uwe Boll made a name for himself by directing two other movie adaptations of video games: “House of the Dead” and “Alone in the Dark”. Both were terrible, but for some reason, studios keep using him to make feature films. Apparently there is money to be made with movie versions of video games, even if they are ridiculously bad.

What made me go see “Bloodrayne”? Well, I’m a sucker for a good action/sci-fi/fantasy movie. I’m such a sucker, in fact, that I’m willing to subject myself to horrible film after horrible film to discover the gems. Plus, “Bloodrayne” stars Kristanna Loken, who played the evil Terminator in “Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines,” and also stars Michelle Rodriguez (of “Girlfight” fame and currently on ABC’s “Lost”) and Ben Kingsley (“Ghandi”!). I thought that such a collection of actors was sure to produce at least an interesting movie. How wrong I was!

“Bloodrayne” is the story of Rayne (Loken), a dhampir (half-human, half-vampire) driven by revenge to murder her father, Kagan (Kingsley), who raped and murdered her mother when Rayne was a small child. Rayne is aided in her quest by the Brimstone Society, a secret army of vampire hunters. There’s also something ridiculous about a vampire who died and left his heart, rib, and eye in different locations: the person who finds them and brings them together will become all-powerful.

The writing in “Bloodrayne” is unusually poor—with awkward sentences and forced dialogue. I know that Ben Kingsley is a great actor. I saw “Ghandi”, and I saw him in the film adaptation of “Twelfth Night”, as well as in “The House of Sand and Fog”. And Michelle Rodriguez was excellent in “Girlfight” and is a welcome addition to the “Lost” crew. I have to say that the writing and the directing were so atrocious that they made every one of the actors look bad.

The action was also awful. I’ve never seen such poor fight choreography. It’s as if Uwe hired a novice to choreograph the sword fights and fist fights. When bad fight choreography is combined with actors who are not skilled at action, it’s a recipe for disaster. (Or the recipe for “Bloodrayne.”) All Loken had to do in “Terminator” was scowl and look pretty. In “Boodrayne”, she has to move skillfully. Loken seems to lack the grace that makes good fight choreography resemble ballet. She looks awkward and slow in every scene that requires athleticism.

There’s plenty to be offended at in “Bloodrayne”—lots of violence, lots of gore, a smattering of nudity, some gratuitous sex, and plenty of neck biting.

I recommend that everyone stay away from this movie. It will waste your time, money, and spirit. As a Christian, I believe that God is the prime mover behind human creativity, end owing us with a wealth of differing gifts and talents, and it breaks my heart to see entertainment like this that cheapens the idea of art. A well-crafted film is a work of art. It makes a statement, challenges us, or touches us deeply in a meaningful way. This film is a hack job—exploiting base desires and instincts.

Violence: Heavy / Profanity: Minor / Sex/Nudity: Heavy

See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.


Viewer Comments
Negative—While I don’t agree with the reviewer that this movie was worse than “Manos: Hands of Fate”, I have to say that it is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some pretty bad movies. I honestly don’t see how this made it to the big screen. The dialogue was terrible, the plot was boring, and the acting was just as bad, which was kind of surprising given the fact that there were a few decent actors in the movie. The quality of the film was so bad I felt like I was watching it from one of those old reel-to-reel projectors. The only redeeming quality of this film is that it is so bad that it’s laughable at parts, and even then you have to sit through tons of violence and a bit of gratuitous topless nudity. (The sex scene was so ridiculously out of place I was laughing out loud.) I gave this movie 1 and a half stars because I’ve seen worse, but this is still about as bad as it gets. Don’t go see this; there are tons of better movies out right now.
My Ratings: Very Offensive / 1
—Tre Perry, age 25
Negative—This is one of the worst movie of the year, a prequel to the game, “Blood Rayne” is all about senseless violence, unnecessary sexual scenes and a hopeless story. Avoid this movie.
My Ratings: Very Offensive / 1
—Cyril Thomas, age 32
Positive—I really liked “Bloodrayne,” especially the director’s cut. There is a bit of nudity, that part is true. There is a great deal of gore and violence, as could be expected for any movie of this genre with an R-rating. The swearing is kept minimal. “Bloodrayne” is a movie you can’t take too seriously. It’s the story of a “dhampir” (half human, half vampire), who seeks to get revenge against the vampire who raped and murdered her mother, and the Brimstone Society, who protect mankind against vampires. I highly recommend it for those who are not terribly squeamish, and like vampire/action movies. Keep in mind that it is a B-movie, but it actually is better-made (I thought) than many movies that get much higher critical ratings. Besides, how often do we get to see full-fledged battles involving vampires? Very cool.
My Ratings: Average / 4
—Nathan Gundlach, age 21
Comments from young people
Negative—This really might be the worst movie I have ever seen, and that’s really saying something, because I am not picky. Everything in this movie is as bad as could possibly be. Worst movie I have ever seen.
My Ratings: Offensive / 1
—Cody, age 16