I Love You, Beth Coopera.k.a. “Una notte con Beth Cooper”

After directing the wildly successful first two installments of the “Harry Potter” franchise, one struggles to find a reason why director Chris Columbus would waste his time directing a movie as bland and forgettable as “I Love You, Beth Cooper”, which is based on a novel of the same name. While “Beth Cooper” is trite and poorly made, it is also raunchy and inappropriate.

Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust), a nerdy high school student, has harbored a crush on cheerleader Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere) for years. While he’s never worked up the courage to speak to her, he finally proclaims his undying love for her so at the worst possible time—during his valedictorian speech. He, also, badmouths Beth’s popular boyfriend Kevin in his lovesick rant, who vows revenge on the nerd. Beth, however, thinks his speech was sweet, and shows up at his door later with her friends to take him out for the night of his life.

The film’s sexual content is pervasive. There is so much, indeed, that it would be pointless to detail every single instance in the movie. A few instances: in a locker room, Beth strips off her top for Denis, who in turn sheds his boxer shorts, with nudity quickly visible. A girl is seen blowing up a condom. Denis’s friend Rich suggest that they have a sword fight using their erections. Rich also is seen in bed with two women, apparently having had a threesome. A coach suggestively rubs a female student’s rear end. On and on and on it goes.

Violence, while portrayed in a comedic fashion, borders on the intense at times. Denis is violently pummeled and pounded numerous times by Beth’s boyfriend and his buffed-up entourage. As a result of these encounters, Denis becomes increasingly bruised throughout the film. A rough fistfight breaks out at a party.

There is also a lot of language for a PG-13 movie, including one F-word and quite a few S-words. Numerous milder profanities also spring up. Most seriously, G*D is used about five times.

In the end, “I Love You, Beth Cooper” is crude, offensive and poorly made. You would be hard-pressed to find a bigger waste of your time.

Violence: Moderate / Profanity: Moderate / Sex/Nudity: Heavy

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