Grandfather's Advice for Marriage

My grandfather was a strong, wise, and mature Christian gentleman—respected by all who knew Him. He was a knowledgeable student of the Bible, a loving husband and father, a humanitarian, faithful supporter of the Lord's work, and a patriot. All of my grandfather's children and grandchildren became faithful servants of Jesus Christ. One of the legacies that grew from his generosity and efforts is the Christian Answers Network and the other ministries of Films for Christ.

My father died, before I knew my wife-to-be. Therefore, my grandfather took on the special responsibility of providing my fiance and me with the following wise advice for marriage—a brief, but valuable summary of the basics. His very biblical counsel has guided us well through our many years of marriage. It is really God's wisdom. When we followed it, our lives were better and easier. When we ignored it, troubles followed. I share grandfather's well-chosen words in hope that they may be of help to you, too.

Grandfather's Loving Advice For Husband and Wife

• We should never marry with the thought of anyone making us happy, but with the thought of what we can GIVE to make that one happy. Husband and wife should have love, compassion, sympathy, patience, kindness, humility, gentleness, and helpfulness. Where are you to get these? From The Lord.

• Never criticize one another or make fun of one another before your children. When you have a difference of opinion (and you will have), do not argue, but discuss it quietly. Never raise your voice in anger, and try to resolve all of your problems in private. I can honestly say that I never heard my father or mother raise their voice when speaking to each other.

• Mother should never allow the children to criticize or make fun of their father, and father should never allow the children to criticize or make fun of their mother.

• Parents should not always please their children, if it would not be pleasing to the Lord to do so.

• Training and teaching children is a full-time job for both parents. About the first thing is to teach obedience, and the mother has the first chance, almost from birth. The next to teach is the Scripture, starting at an early age with Bible stories.

• The Bible gives the father the responsibility for spiritual training of children, but the mother can be a very, very great help.

• The father should so live that the children can see and understand God through him. If the children learn early to obey their parents, it will be much easier for them to obey God. My mother was a very good disciplinarian. When she told us once, that was it.

• The wife should be in subjection to her husband and should give him support, encouragement, inspiration, and help him achieve his goal.

• Children should be taught to work and accept responsibility, and they should be encouraged in their work.

• Never talk about your husband or wife or about your family life in public, unless it will bring honor and glory to the Lord.

• Children, in learning to obey, should also learn to honor father and mother (Deut. 5:16).

• Father and mother should have a strong sense of duty, first to the Lord, then to each other, and to their children.

• Sexual intercourse between husband and wife can and should be delightfully wonderful. Sex should never be withheld as punishment, nor used as a bribe. Sex is not love, but should be with love. What is love? Love is giving. We cannot take love; we can only give love. There is no selfishness in love.

May the Lord bless you all your days,
        Grandfather Taylor (Walter William Taylor)

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