Reviewed by: Ryan Izay
Starring: David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer, Scarlett Johansson, Matt Czuchry, Doug E. Doug | Directed by: Ellory Elkayem, Ellory Elkayem | Produced by: Bruce Berman, Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich | Written by: Jesse Alexander, Ellory Elkayem, Ellory Elkayem, Randy Kornfield | Distributor: Warner Brothers
“Eight Legged Freaks” tries hard to be so bad that it is funny. The story and script is purposefully cheesy but because it is a summer film, the special affects could not be bad. In fact, the spiders are the only halfway decent aspect of “Eight Legged Freaks”, and they get old after half the film.
There is a large amount of spider violence and jump scares in this film, but most of it is more disgusting than it is scary. Often, while being chased by large spiders, the characters utter obscene phrases. As far as a “PG-13” film goes, this one is average for what you would expect to see.
The story, or lack there of, is basically this: an exotic spider museum is exposed to toxic waste and the spiders naturally start growing and overtaking the small town in Arizona in which they reside. Prodigal son Chris McCormack, (played by David Arquette, who must have gone to “Keanu Reeves’ School of Acting”), returns home after his father’s death. He is reunited with town sheriff, Sam Parker (Kari Wuhrer), whom he was in love with before he left. None of this is really important though because the spiders are big and they’re killing people!. Watch out!
There is nothing close to spiritual in this movie, and although it’s all in good fun, don’t waste your time. Most people would be better off making another choice of a film to see.