The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course
for action violence/peril and mild language.
Reviewed by: Lacey Mical (Callahan) Walker
CONTRIBUTOR
| Moral Rating: | Average |
| Moviemaking Quality: |
|
| Primary Audience: | Family |
| Genre: | Action Adventure |
| Length: | 1 hr. 45 min. |
| Year of Release: | 2002 |
| USA Release: |
| Featuring | Steve Irwin, Terri Irwin, Bindi Sue Irwin, David Wenham, Magda Szubanski |
| Director |
John Stainton |
| Producer | Judi Bailey, Bruce Willis, John Stainton, Arnold Rifkin |
| Distributor |
 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM), owned by Amazon® through MGM Holdings, Inc. |
Steve and Terri Irwin have been entertaining fans for years wrestling crocs and dodging snake bites on cable television. What I expected to view in this big screen project from MGM was an extended, wide-screen version of the television show… educational talks, close encounters with creepy crawlies of all sizes, and of course plenty of “Danger, Danger, Danger!” Unfortunately, this script proved to be a bit less palatable.
The film opens with a view from space as we watch a satellite explode and its nucleus plummet to the Earth, landing in the mouth of a wild Australian crocodile which promptly swallows the orb. We then learn that this bit of space debris contains top secret information which, if placed in the wrong hands, could destroy life on Earth. This ridiculous doomsday scenario in place, our journey begins.
In step three bumbling U.S. government agents, sent to Australia in search of the missing databox, and one rifle-toting Ozzie rancher with a personal vendetta against crocodiles and the stage is set for one very silly movie. The film jumps around with 3 different plots, none of which fit together until the very end. There was rarely any laughter in the theatre, and the viewers only reacted to the scenes portraying the Irwins’ interaction with the animals.
As the audience joins Steve and Terri’s outback adventures, joy riding with a two-fanged spider, orphaned joey, and “the most poisonous snake in the world” in tow, one almost blissfully forgets the plot.
The acting is very poor, with the exception of Steve’s scenes carrying on with the animals, which come off exactly like the television show. The script is peppered with conspicuous profanity which did not belong in the film and seemed to be deliberately inserted in order to achieve a “PG” rating.
Families should discuss the secular worldviews presented in the film. Steve continually points out that animals are really better than people. Parents can correct this by pointing out that God breathed life into man and gave us dominion over the animal kingdom. The views that the Irwins present are ones which are constantly preached to our nation’s children and are in direct contradiction to Scriptures. Watching this movie can be a good springboard to fruitful discussions on many issues.
If you are a Croc Hunter fan, it may be worth sitting through the film in order to enjoy the action scenes with Steve and Terri. On the other hand, you could save some money and just stay home and watch it on Discovery.
After I watch his TV shows on cable, I pray for Steve and his family’s salvation. I pray that the Lord can show him there is more to love than animals (nothing wrong with being a good steward to God’s creatures, but not to turn them into idols.) I will continue to pray for the man.
[Average / 3]
[Excellent! / 5]
[Good / 4]
Did expect a few more belly laughs, but the kids seemed content with the chuckles they got. All around would recommend this film for family viewing! A positive experience for us! Offers a good conversation starter with the kids about being caretakers of God’s creatures. (Unfortunately, our theatre played a James Bond preview that was quite horrid with lots of explosions and gunfire; but luckily the kids were more involved in their popcorn and talking about the previous preview for Country Bears!)
[Good / 3]
[Better than Average / 3]
Steve risks his life daily, it seems, as he drags innocent Terri into situations catching highly venomous, angry snakes, diving for ferocious crocodiles and trying to drown himself with boat stunts and voluntary death rolls. An amusing addition to the movie is a rotund female rancher played by the farmer’s wife from Babe, who tries to kill a rogue croc while ousting various authority figures including the CIA who are after a data storage unit swallowed by Jaws.
Some mild expletives and a word new to most Americans which is so loosely used in Australia and Britain, its meaning has become lost in antiquity. It is actually a reference to masturbation, but 99% of the viewing audience will miss it, hopefully. The only other unnecessary clip was Steve telling Terri to take her shirt off to keep an orphaned baby kangaroo warm. One is immediately reminded, “She’s beautiful and very fit… this should be tantalizing” and although she’s wearing a tank top, as soon as the shirt is off, they swiftly pop little Joey into a sleeping bag.
Why, one asks, was it not Steve’s shirt that had to come off? Was this another unsubtle attempt to justify the PG rating? Overall, as a family, we felt it was a waste of good money that could have been better spent on Steve’s videos, which do stick to the facts and don’t have a weak storyline and an abrupt ending. Save your money and buy a Crocodile Hunter video, but if you do feel you have to see it, remember all the profits go to conservation, so it’s not all a loss.
[Average / 2]
[Good / 1½]
This attempt at a movie was about an hour and a half of the Animal Planet with talking cardboard cutouts (awful actors) trying to play the other roles. The main things that I found offensive (perhaps I’m more sensitive than others who see this but a hundred times throughout the movie. If that word is a replacement for “Christ,” then he uses my Lord’s name in vain regularly.
The Irwin’s role in the movie was odd. I kept expecting to see or hear them interacting with cameramen or directors or something, as if they were filming for the show while the CIA stuff was going on elsewhere. But it appeared that they just drove around Australia in a jeep and played with dangerous wild animals while talking to the air… Odd. There were also some assumptions left unresolved between the CIA and the Irwins. I won’t go into it because I don’t want to give away too much of the already weak plot.
I will say that the most entertaining point in the movie is near the end when the Irwins and the CIA guys finally get on the screen at the same time. If you adore “The Crocodlie Hunter” TV show and have money to burn, go see it. Otherwise relax at home and watch it on Animal Planet. Better yet, take a walk around the neighborhood with your family… [Average / 2]
[Good / 4]
[Better than Average / 4½]
My Ratings: [Good / 5]