Drillbit Taylor: Budget Bodyguard

This easter weekend did not feature any Biblical epics, nor (apparently) any family films. I thought that “Drillbit Taylor” might fit in with the later, but I was sorely mistaken. The plot of “Drillbit Taylor” seemed as if it could not fail, and teamed with rising star Owen Wilson, it certainly looked promising, but reality hits hard. “Drillbit Taylor” fails on almost every possible level; especially the family-friendly level.

The story of Drillbit revolves around a group of kids who are the victims of school bullies. They promptly decide to hire a bodyguard to protect them, but… as the ad says… “you get what you pay for.” Sounds good. Right? Wrong. First of all, “Drillbit…” is a crude comedy featuring several scenes of rear nudity as Drillbit bathes naked on the beach, several scenes of urination including people urinating on one another, numerous sexual innuendos, implies sexual intercourse on several occasions, between 65 and 91 obscene words (according to those who count these words) including the s___ word and a___ word, and, of course, violence galore. In one scene, someone's pinky is even cut off (which was supposed to be funny). The character of Drillbit is also bad, as he is a liar and con artist and thief who tries to steal money from these kids. Of course, we all know that his heart is softened, and he eventually helps the kids with a predictable, cliched, and violent ending.

It is hard to review a movie that has so little good to say about it. There were no role models with whom the audience could sympathize. Although we could sympathize with the victims of bullies, we ultimately find nothing funny about their predicaments nor the resolutions to it, which are remarkably unfunny and predictable.

“Drillbit Taylor” is a good example of how Hollywood can ruin a good idea with crude humor and juvenile ramblings that look as if they were written by the teenage bullies who were in the film. The movie might have been good had it been done right with someone like Chuck Norris in the lead role. Owen Wilson may be carving a place for himself in modern comedies, but he had better start reading the scripts all the way through and make better choices, or he could be relegated to making these kinds of movies for a long time.

Violence: Heavy / Profanity: Heavy / Sex/Nudity: Heavy

See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.

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• Young people
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