The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

Sequel: “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water” (2015)

“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”

If the answer to this question automatically rings in your head, you or your child must be a fan of Nickelodeon’s million dollar man, SpongeBob SquarePants.

This “super-absorbent” star headlines a quirky, off the wall cartoon comedy which has acquired a cult following among teenagers and children in America, and fans of the thirty minute cable show will no doubt be eager to attend SpongeBob’s big screen debut.

As the story begins, SpongeBob is excited as his boss, Mr. Krabs, owner of The Krusty Krab restaurant, is choosing a new manager for the place which specializes in burgers called Krabby Patties.

The Krabby Patty recipe is a closely guarded secret, much to the chagrin of Plankton, owner of The Chum Bucket, a competing restaurant which is failing without the benefit of a top-selling sandwich.

While Plankton masterminds his latest plan in a seemingly endless series of foiled schemes to steal the Krabby Patty recipe, SpongeBob prepares for the promotion he feels certain to receive from Mr. Krabs.

Unfortunately, SpongeBob’s hopes are dashed when the title is given to Squidward, his melancholy co-worker. When SpongeBob confronts Mr. Krabs about why he was not the one chosen, Krabs informs his crestfallen employee that he needed a man to handle the task, and SpongeBob is too childish. Insulted, SpongeBob is determined to prove to his boss that he is every bit a man.

The opportunity comes swiftly, as Plankton hits the scene. He has stolen cantankerous King Neptune’s precious crown and framed Mr. Krabs in the heist. Outraged, the king uses his scepter to freeze Krabs into an ice sculpture, promising to roast him to death unless proof is shown that Krabbs was not the real culprit.

Seizing this moment to show his boss how capable he really is, SpongeBob bravely announces that he will travel to the infamously dangerous Shell City to find the crown and return it within six days and save his employer’s life.

With his lovably oafish starfish pal, Patrick in tow and King Neptune’s mermaid daughter, Mindy pleading their case before her father, SpongeBob is about to begin the biggest adventure of his life.

Parental warnings are nearly inexhaustible in considering this film. Please do not be deceived by the light-hearted, cute trailers for this cartoon and take your kids to see it assuming it will be clean, innocent fun. Many parents would not find this material suitable viewing for children.

There is animated nudity throughout the movie. We view Patrick’s bare buttocks during three scenes, and SpongeBob’s once. At one point, Patrick surprises SpongeBob at a community gathering by swinging over the crowd, naked, holding a sign between his buttocks which bears a message to his friend. SpongeBob and Patrick are also shown in their underwear a few times. The underwear is drawn to look like men’s fitted briefs.

These characters are not real, and are not even human, so many may choose to gloss over the animated nude scenes, though it sends a wrong message to children that it’s okay to pull down one’s pants for a laugh.

If the writers of this production are so lacking in talent that this base attempt at humor was the best they could come up with, one might suggest that they give up trying.

Sexual innuendo is present, as Patrick is enamored with Mindy and flirts with her constantly, telling her she’s “hot” and asking her at one point if she wants to see his underwear. Will there be little boys on school playgrounds getting charged with sexual harassment after mimicking this sort of behavior coming from their lovable cartoon friend?

Patrick also displays sexual perversion in the final scene, when he attends a rock concert wearing fishnet stockings and women’s black leather boots.

David Hasselhoff makes an embarrassing cameo in swim trunks, during which his chest is computer-manipulated so that his pectoral muscles flex unnaturally, even forming a square shape, and then he places SpongeBob and Patrick on his chest and uses his muscles like a wedge to propel them back down into the sea. It is a grotesque scene.

Violence and frightening images are in no short supply. SpongeBob and Patrick are confronted by monsters and dark, scary places filled with piles of skeletons. They are chased by bizarre creatures trying to eat them. Small children could be terrified by these scenes.

There are many scenes of fighting, threatening, execution orders, and countless times characters are wounded.

Another disturbing event takes place when SpongeBob and Patrick are plucked from the sea by an ominous human diver hunting for treasures to sell in his gift shop on the shore. The two are placed under a heat lamp so that they will die and dry out. Eventually, they are moistened and revived, but a long scene ensues wherein the two are dying and writhing in pain. One of SpongeBob’s arms snaps off. Sensitive children would be horrified.

After losing his promotion, SpongeBob accompanies Patrick to an ice cream shop, where they sit in a secluded corner which is illustrated to look like a bar which would serve alcohol. However, rather than liquor, they consume endless quantities of ice cream sundaes. The two behave as though they are intoxicated, slurring, stumbling, singing and dancing. They wake up the next morning terribly hung-over.

The film concludes with a rock concert atmosphere, during which SpongeBob dons a wizard’s hat and cape and swoops over a crowd. Hard rock blares while Patrick (wearing the fishnets and boots) makes satanic symbols with his hands.

The script contains a plethora of name calling, one religious exclamation, and the phrase “jack ***” is said once, in a whisper.

The entertainment factor was very low. The primary humor is of the potty-ilk and received only a sprinkling of chuckles from the audience in a nearly full auditorium.

Violence: Moderate / Profanity: Mild / Sex/Nudity: Moderate

See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.

• Positive
• Neutral
• Negative
• Young people
• Critics