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Vampires Suck

also known as “Os Vampiros Que Se Mordam,” “Vampyrer suger,” “Vampyyrien imussa”
MPA Rating: PG-13-Rating (MPA) for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying.
Moral Rating: not reviewed
Moviemaking Quality:
Primary Audience: Teens
Genre: Comedy
Length: 1 hr. 28 min.
Year of Release: 2010
USA Release: August 18, 2010 (wide—2,900+ theaters)
DVD: November 30, 2010
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporationclick photos to ENLARGE Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
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Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

Every time you buy a movie ticket or rent a video you are casting a vote telling Hollywood “That’s what I want.” Why does Hollywood continue to promote immoral programming? Are YOU part of the problem? Answer

Featuring Marcelle Baer (Hot Girl), Emily Brobst (June), Parker Dash (Drunken Festival Goer), David DeLuise (Fisherman), See all »
Director Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Producer Regency Enterprises, Road Rebel, Jerry P. Jacobs, Peter Safran
Distributor Distributor: Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. Trademark logo.20th Century Studios, a subsidiary of The Walt Disney Studios, a division of The Walt Disney Company

“From the guys who couldn’t sit through another vampire movie!”

Here’s what the distributor says about their film: “A spoof of vampire-themed movies, ‘Vampires Suck’ is a comedy about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca’s friends contend with their own romantic issues—all of which collide at the prom.”

See Movie Critics comments below.

Violence: Extreme / Profanity: Heavy / Sex/Nudity: Heavy

See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.


Viewer CommentsSend your comments
Movie Critics
…lame mediocrity… this instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless. Brandishing obvious gags, uninventive slapstick and stale pop-culture allusions…
Joe Leydon, Variety
…shamefully unfunny… a swirling black hole of anti-comedy absorbing every stale joke about vampires you have seen and grown tired of… bad impressions, and excessive pratfalls… cheap, forced laughs…
Jeff Leins, News in Film
…witless spoof… “Vampires Suck” and so does this lame “Twilight” spoof… There’s a joke or broad sight gag every 15 seconds or so, but the ratio of hits to misses is nearly nonexistent. …
Frank Scheck, The Hollywood Reporter
…God’s name is abused about 10 times, twice coupled with “d--n.” Christ’s name is misused once. …
Meredith Whitmore, Plugged In
…“Suck” sinks… you’re making this parody business look awfully hard. So much to work with, and this is the best you could come up with? [1/4]
Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel
…painfully unfunny… a flick that wouldn’t recognize funny if it came up and sank both of its fangs into its uninspired neck.
Jen Chaney, The Washington Post
…Another failed spoof… painfully unfunny… As if a string of bad jokes wasn’t enough, “Vampires Suck” is full of distractingly forced pop culture references and shameless product placements (the actors practically mug for the camera while holding various products). … [1½/5]
Phil Contrino, Box Office Magazine