Reviewed by: Patty Moliterno
Hugh Grant … Pirate Captain (voice)
Brendan Gleeson … Pirate with Gout (voice)
Salma Hayek … Cutlass Liz (voice)
David Tennant … Charles Darwin (voice)
Jeremy Piven … Black Bellamy (voice)
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Jeff Newitt (co-director)
Sony Pictures Animation
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|Distributor:||Columbia Pictures, Sony Pictures|
“from the creators of ‘Chicken Run’”
It is 1837 and the Queen of England (voice of Imelda Staunton) wants pirates destroyed. She wants to rule all the seas and the pirates are preventing her from doing that. She hates pirates so much, her throne reads “I hate pirates”. Meanwhile, the pirates are having their annual Pirate of the Year Awards, and Captain Pirate (voice of Hugh Grant) is on a mission to finally win the coveted award. He determines he is going to beat Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven), Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek), and Peg Leg Hastings (Lenny Henny).
Captain Pirate has a wonderfully loving crew. They have a parrot onboard named Polly. While at sea, plundering, they come across a science expedition ship with Charles Darwin onboard. He informs Captain Pirate and his crew that their beloved parrot is in fact a rare dodo bird. Charles wants to present the dodo bird at the Science Awards where there are “riches” awaiting the top prize. Captain Pirate sees this as his chance to get enough gold to finally win the “Pirate of the Year” award. Captain Pirate and his crew decide to go to London and risk being caught by the Queen to win the award.
Objectionable Content: Language—One use of the word ass and hell. Crap is used several times. Captain Pirate and another pirate are shown drinking with lemurs, and Captain says “I could have sworn they were girls.”
Cutlass Liz is scantily clad, and she makes several inappropriate comments. There is a reference about scantily clad mermaids. Charles Darwin is trying to find a woman. He makes several references throughout the movie about women. There is a ship of “naturalists or naturists”—nudists.
In addition to the usual fighting scenes found in pirate movies, there is a ghost ship, a pirate’s eyeball falls out into a drink, on a plague boat a pirate’s arm falls off, someone says “people who live alone are always serial killers,” and there is plenty of drinking. There is plenty of slapstick violence—anchors landing on people, Darwin gets tarred and feathered, a giant whale lands on Blood Island, opens its mouth and unrolls its tongue.
The Royal Society crest reads “Playing God since…”. There are a few references to Evolution.
The Pirate Captain and his crew have a wonderful relationship. They stick together and are like a family. Even though he is not the best pirate, the crew does not give up on him. They show admiration for him, repeatedly, throughout the film.
I did not like this movie. Although the storyline had the potential to be cute, and the film quality was excellent, it was not a great movie, overall. I expected it to be much better, based on the fact that we loved “Chicken Run” and “Wallace and Gromit.” I know that there will be some people who argue with my review. However, my 9 year old son, who usually sees movies without hesitation, told me he didn’t want to see this movie, based on the trailer we saw a few weeks ago. I am glad I didn’t make him go. I know that he would not have been scared. I just think he would have thought it was stupid (and not funny, at all). The family in front of us walked out before the movie was over. I think there are several scenes that would scare a child below the age of 6-7. My overall recommendation is to skip this film.
Violence: Moderate to heavy / Profanity: Minor / Sex/Nudity: Moderate
See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.