Prayer Focus
Click here to watch THE HOPE on-line!
Movie Review

Date Movie

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for continuous crude and sexual humor, including language

Reviewed by: Brett Willis
STAFF WRITER

Extremely Offensive
Add to your list?
View your list
Moviemaking Quality:

Primary Audience:
Teens Adults
Genre:
Romance Comedy Spoof
Length:
1 hr. 23 min.
Year of Release:
2006
USA Release:
February 17, 2006 (wide)
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox
Relevant Issues
Copyright, Twentieth Century Fox

How can I deal with temptations? Answer

Should I save sex for marriage? Answer

How far is too far? What are the guidelines for dating relationships? Answer

Why are humans supposed to wear clothes? Answer

What are the consequences of sexual immorality? Answer

Learn how to make your love the best it can be. Discover biblical answers to questions about sex, marriage, sexual addictions, and more.
Teen Qs™—Christian Answers for teenagers
Teens! Have questions? Find answers in our popular TeenQs section. Get answers to your questions about life, dating and much more.
Featuring: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Fred Willard, Jennifer Coolidge, Eddie Griffin
Director: Aaron Seltzer
Producer: Paul Schiff
Distributor: Twentieth Century Fox

“For people who LOVE date movies and people who HATE them.”

Copyrighted, Twentieth Century Fox

I volunteered for this ChristianSpotlight review assignment, and saw “Date Movie” with no prior knowledge of the content. All I can say is, the promo poster showing a box of tissues, implying that it’s a sad three-hanky romantic comedy-drama, is just a misleading gag. I’ve only walked out of maybe a half-dozen films in my life. Had I not been on assignment, I’d have been sorely tempted to walk out of this one. The paper-thin romantic plot is primarily a vehicle for parodies of other films, often taking off-color or gross content from those films and altering it so it’s even more outrageous.

This film is not rated R, and it contains no explicit nudity and no explicit or simulated sex acts (in the normal sense of the word), yet its sexual content is extreme and unrelenting. Is that creativity, or degeneracy? Also, among its many comedic violence scenes are some that are totally inappropriate in terms of encouraging imitative behavior. Read on for further details, but be warned that this review will itself contain content inappropriate for children to read, and it will give away spoilers of some of the gags.

Red-headed Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan) is grossly overweight, and keeps a diary of how she intends to find true love one day. She’s a waitress in her father’s Greek restaurant. Her father claims to be Greek, but is actually black. Her mother is Indian (that is, from India). Her sister is Japanese. And, they’re Jewish. Her controlling father expects her to marry within her own ethnic group and culture (whatever that is).

In the opening scenes, Julia is shown in a mood of forced happiness, dancing around the city streets and playing herself up to various men. The air from a grating billows up her skirt, in a takeoff of the scene in Marilyn Monroe’s “The Seven Year Itch”. None of the men react positively to her. One construction worker deliberately shoots himself in the head with a nail gun. And some firefighters blow her away with a water hose. One overweight man seems to be returning her overtures, but he walks past her and meets up with his apparently-gay companion who was standing behind her.

One day, while working in the restaurant, she has a momentary “connection” with a handsome British customer. But a minute later, he disappears. She doesn’t realize that he’s disappeared because she inadvertently brained him with a heavy object as she spun around, and he’s unconscious on the floor.

Desperate to find a man, Julia goes to “Hitch,” a black achondroplastic dwarf who claims to have been responsible for hooking up many (real-life) celebrities. At first, he refuses to help her, telling her she’s beyond his abilities. But seeing her brokenheartedness, he has pity on her and invites her in. While having her demonstrate her kissing ability (on her knees so they’re face-to-face), he remarks about her bad breath. He flosses her teeth and removes a large object (I won’t identify it) from her mouth. Then, she actually kisses him, and basically slobbers all over his face as he fights her off.

Finally, Hitch takes her to an auto body shop where his buddies give her a radical makeover. They grind down her bunions and splintered toenails; use cream and pull-strips to remove thick hair from her back; drill into her chest; and perform liposuction, pumping the removed contents into a container labeled “mayonnaise.” When they’re done, she’s normal weight and beautiful. (The fat makeup on Julia and the other characters was done by Academy Award winning special-effects makeup artist Matthew Mungle, whom I once met and whose work is truly amazing.)

Now that she has the “correct” appearance to be happy and enjoy life, Julia gets onto a Reality TV show styled after “The Bachelor.” The eligible Bachelor for this episode, Grant Fonckyerdoder (Adam Campbell), who happens to be the guy Julia previously connected with but then knocked out, is told by the show’s host to eliminate the female contestants that he doesn’t want (to have sex with); and he does so… with a shotgun. Finally, only Julia is left alive. In one of the film’s few positive moments, Grant recognizes Julia despite the change in weight, and says that he never thought she was ugly, even before her makeover. They quickly have sex together (implied with off-camera sounds, and by their being shown in bed afterwards, covers pulled up to their armpits).

The remainder of the film consists of Julia and Adam trying to make it to the marriage altar, while contending with two sets of very strange parents and with Adam’s jealous and scheming ex-fiance.

Language consists of a half-dozen uses of s*, about 30 other strong profanities and religious exclamations, some racial slurs, and an uncountable amount of sexual innuendo and double-entendres.

Besides the obvious scene-steals above from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and “Bridget Jones”, there are parodies of “Say Anything,” “Napoleon Dynamite,” “Kill Bill,” “Wedding Crashers,” “The Wedding Planner” (with a big-butted character named “Jell-O”), “Pretty Woman” (with Adam in drag, playing the Julia Roberts hooker character), “Lord of the Rings,” “What Women Want,” “When Harry Met Sally” (with the fake orgasm at a restaurant), and the new version of “King Kong” (with Carmen Electra being stripped to a bikini, fondled, and then crushed by Kong’s giant hand).

The Jones family cat, Jinxers (a robot, but intended to be a real cat), uses the human toilet in a noisy and disgusting sequence of cat diarrhea. He smokes a cigarette. He attempts to have sex with a mummified human corpse, and pulls out a pack of condoms. During a wedding, he engages in passionate kissing with a lonely old lady.

Adam’s father basically hits on Julia the first time he meets her. Adam’s mother (a sex therapist) gives Julia a vaginal fertility thermometer that’s been passed down the family for generations and has never been washed. Adam’s mom also tends to rub people’s faces against her chest, whether they’re male or female. Julia’s mother gives Adam a lingerie magazine and a cup, and demands a specimen from him because she wants plenty of grandchildren and she intends to check his fertility. There are enticing gay characters, played for laughs. There’s a “Julia Gone Wild” sequence. There are many sequences of Adam’s old flame Andy (female) posing near-nude and alluringly, plus one sequence where she’s completely nude in front of Adam and Julia but is shot from a discreet angle. Even the music (whether rap songs, or ordinary songs with altered lyrics) is often sexual in emphasis.

The violence is all relatively bloodless and comic in tone, but some of it is not funny by a long shot. In one sequence, a toddler is being taught to speak, and his first word is “bitch.” Julia also prompts him to learn sign language, and when she asks him what a pimp does with a “Ho” who doesn’t give up all the money, the child makes a slapping motion. (According to one review, this child was also tossed from a moving vehicle, but I didn’t see that sequence. Either I zoned out for a moment, or the film has been recut.) There’s a background sequence of a Michael Jackson lookalike enticing a child, and then getting beat up by the child’s mother. The sequence I found most disturbing was when Julia and Adam, just for something to do together on a date, beat up a homeless man and steal his wallet and his booze. (The beating of homeless people by teenagers, often resulting in death, is an underreported but common problem in today’s urban areas.)

There’s a good deal more material that I haven’t mentioned. A small amount of it is genuinely funny. But most of it is of the groaner variety, pulling us down to a new low common denominator. One of the most ironic lines (in an “outtake” which I believe is shown during the credits) is when Julia (speaking to a therapist, in a self-parody) says that this is a PG-13 film and they’re only allowed to do very mild sexual material. Yeah, right.

I absolutely don’t recommend this film to anyone.

“Napoleon Dynamite” (2004) is the very first film parodied in “Date Movie”. If you’re looking for a quirky romantic comedy with underdog characters, but original material and 98% clean, “Napoleon Dynamite” would be an excellent choice. If you’d prefer a true three-hanky romantic drama, but still original material and 98% clean, I suggest Mel Gibson’s “Forever Young” (1992).

Violence: Heavy / Profanity: Moderate / Sex/Nudity: Extreme

See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.


Viewer Comments
Negative—This is the first movie I ever walked out on. I did so after about 30 minutes, perhaps 25 minutes after I first thought of leaving. I think I was in shock and couldn’t move because the filthy sexual innuendoes and disgusting toilet (attempts at) humor were nonstop. It may have improved somewhat after I left, but I don’t know how anybody could stay long enough to find out. This movie is an insult to any reasonable person and an abomination to God.
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 2
—Marylynn, age 59
Negative—My my my… Where do I begin with this car crash of a movie. As Christians I don’t think it’s in our best interested to watch it. Actually, no, it did remind me how crazy the world as gotten, and how it needs Jesus now more than ever.

It’s unoriginal, unimaginative and just down right dirty in most parts. I’ve never desired my money from a movie so badly before. Please do not waste your money on this… when its comes out on DVD do not waste your money to rent it… when its finally comes on TV do not waste your time then to watch it.
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 2
—Christiannah, age 23
Negative—This film was just not funny. The writers seem to have forgotten that the primary rule of successful parody is that the original subject material is NOT (at least intentionally) FUNNY! Hence, you get “Airplane!” a parody of the “Airport” movies, “Spaceballs” a parody of sci-fi movies, or “Scary Movie” which is a parody of, well, scary movies. Most of the movies parodied in “Date Movie” are funny themselves (“Meet the Parents”/Fockers, “Napoleon Dynamite”) so the creators of this movie had nowhere to go but down. They go for stupid. They go for gross. They go for inappropriate sexual references. Just about any film parodied here is more fun than “Date Movie.”
My Ratings: Offensive / 2
—Darryl Wingard, age 38
Comments from young people
Negative—Wow is this movie bad. It epitomizes horrible movie-making to the top-most degree. I myself am quite the movie man and love a good comedy movie. This, if you can call it, movie is about as funny as a prostate exam. I’ve laughed harder and more frequently at funerals than at Date Movie. I only recommend it if you plan on breaking up with your current date. If you do, I’m sure the movie will cause an immediate end to the relationship. The “humor” in date movie couldn’t be any more uncreative or raunchy. Trust me on this, don’t see it. Ever.
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 1
—Wil, age 17
Negative—Do not go see this movie! My friends and I went to go see this, thinking that it would just be a humorous play on other movies. Boy were we wrong. It started out as what we expected (the first 5 mins.) and went downhill from their. There were many profanities and uses of crude humor. By the time the movie had played for about 10 mins. we couldn’t watch it anymore. The movie had tons of potential to be a “good movie,” but the writers decided to sprinkle in the worst of any sexual humor and bad language. I sure am glad I didn’t watch this film in its entirety. I must say this is the only movie I can say I honestly wish I never went to go see. Do yourself a favor and don’t even rent this one.
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 1
—A.I., age 14
Negative—I’m in a similar boat as another reviewer in that this was the first film I have ever walked out of. I can honestly say this has to be the most disgusting, unfunny and perverted film I have ever seen. From a Christian point of view the film is filled with sex “jokes,” foul language and morally repugnant behavior (who on Earth finds watching a homeless man being beaten up for a laugh funny?) From a plain, worldly point of view the film is just plain nauseating. I finally left after 30 minutes after having to watch a cat attempt to have sex with a dead woman. Take my advice. Do not waste your money on this film.
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 1
—Scott George McCombe, age 17
Negative—This movie was the absolute worst movie ever seen. I did not see all of the movie because it was to bad, so we walked out. A few of my friends said this was a funny movie, but I forgot, they like gross things. At the beginning, a guy shot himself in the head with a nail gun and a cat started “humping” an old lady. During the mock of “The Bachelor”, the guy had to shoot all of the girls he didn’t want to date. What really pushed me over the edge was the swimsuit model who takes her swimsuit off. If you like sick humor, go. But, I do not suggest bringing in any children 14 or under.
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 1
—Meagan, age 15
Neutral—“Date Movie” was pretty good. It was a little bit dumb all in all though. It was supposed to be strictly a comedy making fun of all those mushy gushy love stories like “Sweet Home Alabama”, “My Big FAT Greek Wedding” and “Meet the Parents”/“Fockers”, but at times it was pure boring. Like they almost tried to make it too funny, so that it was lame. I wouldn’t recommend seeing, it because by the end of the show, though it was entertaining, I found myself thinking it was a waste of money.
My Ratings: Good / 4
—Mackenzie, age 14
Positive—so HILARIOUS!!! this is one of my favorite movies, EVER!!! I was basically laughing the whole way through. It was offensive to people who are easily offended, but not to me. …But, do not take kids under the age of 13.
My Ratings: Very Offensive / 4
—Bree, age 13
Negative—I was out with friends, and they suggested going to see this show, and I, not knowing the rating, and being quite stupid enough not to check it, walked into the theatre, and left a few minutes later (alone) horrified, shamed, and angry. …My parents were angry with me for not consulting them about seeing this movie (not as angry as I was at myself). Even kids should know when it is time to leave a movie. I cried when I got home because I felt so shamed for seeing the few minutes of the movie that I did. They’re is so much junk in this world, and Christians are going right along with it. Jesus must shake his head as he sees the church’s children, youth, and “mature” Christian adults doing what the world does. We as Christians condemn sex out of marriage! We condemn the stripper clubs downtown and other such things! And yet, we just make up for not going to those places, seeing porn in reality, or doing those things by getting our fill of them on TV. It is so hypocritical. I remember a Veggie Tale song that goes 'stand up stand up for what you believe in;' well what do YOU believe in, and what are you standing up for?
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 1
—Jen, age 16
Negative—this movie was sooo stupid… don’t ever watch it
My Ratings: Very Offensive / 1
—Emily, age 14
Negative—Awful. Truly awful. Not because of all the offensive things in it, there are plenty that make it a no-go for anyone who’s offended by such things. But because the movie is down right terrible. Not one single thing in this was funny. Not one. All the humor was overly crude in an attempt to be funny. The cat on the toilet from “Meet the Parents” was the worst part. You don’t laugh, you look at the screen with a “What on Earth…?” look on your face. The Scary Movie saga was alright (once you got around the offensiveness), but this was terrible. This is the ONLY movie I have ever walked out of. I had half a mind to demand a refund but I was to preoccupied trying to piece together why anyone in their right mind would ever make a movie this horrible. Not a single person on the entire staff that made this movie (hundreds of them) ever stopped once and said 'Wait, this movie is terrible. We shouldn’t make this.' The sad thing is there will probably be a sequel… urgh. Avoid at all costs.
My Ratings: Very Offensive / 1
—Kevin, age 17
Negative—After coming over to my friend’s party, I sat down to watch this movie with everyone else. I had heard the movie was so funny, although I’m not a movie person, so I didn’t figure I’d like it. Despite the fact the movie was completely stupid, I didn’t deny it as being good because I deem most movies as pretty pointless, but this movie went from stupidity to morally degrading. The first thing I saw to be a true indicator of the society we live in (I began watching not much prior to this part) was when the “ugly fat woman” was turned into this “skinny pretty girl” to get a guy. So someone who’s big can’t get a guy? This shows how looks-oriented our world is. The next part which to me was the absolute shocker of the whole movie was the supermodel star who wore almost nothing the entire movie. If we want to see porn, we’ll buy a magazine, we do not need it in a PG-13 movie. I could not get over the amount of skin shown not once, but over and over again. She was not shown just half-naked either, but in a totally sexual matter. I had to stop watching, because I could not believe the filth put in this movie. Completely degrading to women. I wouldn’t advise anyone to watch it. A complete waste of time.
My Ratings: Extremely Offensive / 3
—Kelsey, age 15
Negative—Ugh! This is honestly one of the most wretched attempts at a comedy that I have ever seen! It’s gross, not funny, and so poorly made that it’s sad. I hated this film with a passion!
My Ratings: Very Offensive / 1
—John, age 13