One Captive Set Free
I am writing this anonymously because I would probably be fired and also go to jail for the things I have done in my life.
It started when I was about 6 or 7 years old… with an older male cousin molesting me and showing me pornography. From that point forward, I had a heightened awareness of anything sexual. Then, a “friend” of my older brother showed me how to masturbate when I was about 10 years old… the rest was history. I spend hours masturbating every day. I would do it several times a day. At that time, I did not really have access to much pornography, as my family were Christians and we didn’t do those kinds of things. But, I would find any sexual literature that I could and devour it with my eyes. It did not matter—Harlequin romances, breast exam guides, National Geographics, you name it. Anything that had nudity, or sexually stimulating stories.
The masturbation led to other things in my life. After my parents divorce, my Dad re-married and I got a new step sister. Almost immediately we began “experimenting” and that led to full blown incest. Then, I started molesting children that my sister and I would baby sit. This didn’t happen much, but it did happen. Still, that wasn’t enough to “satisfy” the urge for more.
I had a few girlfriends in highschool and of course did as much with them as I could get away with… eventually having a pregnancy scare that made me break up with one of them. Now, ALL of this time, my family and I were attending church. I was the picture of an upstanding young person in our youth group. And, I really did want to be a Godly person. As a matter of fact, I wanted to be a minister. The problem was… there were two very distinct people living inside of me. One, the flesh man, wanted nothing but more and more perverse sex. The spirit man, cried out to God for deliverance from this hellish bondage.
I married after college, thinking that this would give me a steady supply of sex… and cure this need in my life. It didn’t. I went on to discover Internet pornography… the biggest problem in my life. Then, I went on to having affairs with other women… and finally to prostitution. I was out of control. During this time, I had never been able to get freedom from the sin. I tried, I begged God… I went to counseling. I joined SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) and even talked with my pastor about it.
Finally, I ran across a Web site called “settingcaptivesfree.com”. It has changed my live. I am today a free man. My marriage has been restored. I am free from pornography, masturbation, adultery, and prostitution. Yes, I still want those things sometimes… but now I know how to cope with this and to get away from it. They teach three main principles… radical amputation of the things that make you sin, radical accountability, and consistently drinking the living water of Christ.
These three elements have turned my life around. I give God all of the credit for what has happened, but I know that he used SCF to do it. Their 60 lessons, coupled with their on-staff mentors (thanks Bill), have brought me to a level that I had given up hope of ever reaching.
By the way, my ministry is progressing better than ever now… I did not mention it earlier, but I am a preacher. If there are any others out there like me (and there are plenty of you…), please go to settingcaptivesfree.com and begin your road to recovery.