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A Painful Road

—by Chris, age 40

I have been married for 11 years, and my wife and I dated five years prior to that. I had an affair about 7 years ago, and we reconciled and had two beautiful girls together.

Unfortunately, about 2 years ago, I started paying prostitutes for sex. I recently confessed this to her because I had caught gonorrhea from one of them. I am a Christian man, but very sinful as you already know! Anyway, she has filed for legal separation. I am helping prepare the papers, as I want to do anything to help her, and possibly to save our marriage. I have asked her for forgiveness, but she does not want to reconcile at this time (I don’t blame her a bit).

As painful as this is right now, confessing my problem was the right decision. I am renewing my relationship with Christ, and am in counseling for this problem. I don’t know that the cycle would have ever been broken, had I not confessed and asked forgiveness from her. I have been doing much reading as well, so that this never happens again, whether married to my wife or to another. I cannot ever imagine being married to another woman right now.

I want to share my story because, no matter how boring you think your life might be, always keep Christ in it. I fell away, and it is costing me dearly. That said, I would rather suffer some here, than to suffer for all eternity because I did not repent of my sins and believe on Jesus.

My relationship with God is getting better each day. Now that doesn’t mean that this separation doesn’t hurt. It is very painful, but He is guiding me to a purer way of living, a way of living in Him and doing His will.

I would ask anyone reading this story to please pray for me. Pray that God gives me the strength to resist sexual temptation and to live in his light. I would also ask that you pray for my dearest wife, who did not deserve such treatment from me.

May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with all of you.

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