My Husband’s Brother
I have been struggling with sexual addiction for many years, I have been attracted to my husband’s brother, even before I married my husband. I have lied, cheated and stolen precious time away from my husband and my family due to this. They still do not know the truth, But I do. I had intimate relations with this man, ignoring the guilt and shame, and always putting off seeking forgiveness from God until I hit rock bottom.
My life fell apart. My children were taken away from me. I was so distraught and depressed that I tried to take my life. But God has a plan for me. I was a totally broken person at the very end of my rope and not wanting to hang on. But God spoke to me and gave me no other choice but to lean on him, and pray and put it in his hands.
I had led a life of pain: physically, sexually, and mentally abused as a child. I thought that the only way to make myself have any sense of self worth and confidence was to give the only thing that was only mine to give: my body. But it is not mine—it is God’s!
I made the choice to attend church and that very morning the pastor said that adultery was a sin against the temple, and that it only hurt myself and God. It was an inward sin. I was in tears and was hurting. I begged for forgiveness and freedom from the bondage of this addiction, and I believed that the Lord God would do just that. And he has!
I thank Him for this and everyday I pray that He gives me the strength to continue to renew my soul every single day and not step backwards. He has lifted the pain and heartache and sorrow from my heart and replaced it with joy and happiness.
Sometimes I still have those bad thoughts but it is only Satan looking for a crack in my armor and I tell Satan to go away. I immediately pray for the protection of the Blood of Jesus and I am set free from this horrible addiction. I was not ready to give up my life to God completely, always thinking I could still have my “fun” and be a Christian at the same time. That is exactly what Satan wants you to think and he had me fooled. It was all a lie. I had to realize the truth—the only REAL TRUTH was God’s way.
I haven’t seen or been with this person in a few months now. Yes, it is a struggle, but through God all things are possible. By faith I submitted my life wholly and completely to my Lord and Savior and He has always been there just waiting for me to come to Him and ask for forgiveness and to be set free.