Scary Movie

The summer of 2000 has been, overall, a terrible disappointment. But nothing this summer compares to the black hole of moral integrity and basic intelligence that is “Scary Movie”.

If all goes well in Washington, the people who marketed this film will be brought up on charges and fined heavily. This film was marketed toward younger kids and, seeing the previews, one could have easily assumed it was fun for all ages. But this film ends up being a filth-fest from the word “go”.

The plot (using the term loosely) is supposed to be “Scream-with-a-twist.” But since “Scream” already had a twist, the audience ends up wondering what the catch is. In case you don’t know the formula, let me rehash it for you. Someone gets killed. From a single murder, people think a serial killer is on the loose (which ends up being true). One by one the main characters die until (gasp and astonishment) the only person you wouldn’t have thought was the killer, is. Of course this movie doesn’t exist for the plot, but to make fun of it. There are a few clever moments. But you get the feeling soon into the movie that these jokes seemed a lot funnier while they were being made than they currently appear on the screen. They reminded me of high school when my friends and I sat around the table laughing at each other as we made idiots of ourselves.

I want to make a note that I am not a stingy guy. I loved “Dogma”, I laughed until I cried in “Clerks”, and “Magnolia” is my favorite film of all time. But some parts of this movie were so offensive that I literally closed my eyes for extended periods of time. But if you are the kind of person who thinks that no amount of rancid material could dissuade you from seeing a funny movie, let me take a different approach. This movie is simply not funny. You would have more fun if you spent 85 minutes thinking of clever adjectives to describe your feet.

And on to the offensive material. A mere three years ago, this film would have been NC-17. It is raunchy, filthy and completely disgusting. I worked at a theatre this summer and even the non-Christians I worked with, though they were far from the most stellar moral examples I’ve ever met, were telling parents, in the most blunt language possible, “Do NOT take your child to see this movie.” It has no redeeming moral worldview or theme, and you can’t go 15 minutes without seeing some kind of totally unnecessary sexual organ. If there is any way possible to avoid this film, do it.

Reviews of sequels to this movie: Scary Movie 2, Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, Scary Movie 5