Reviewed by: Gabriel Mohler
Who was the world’s FIRST MURDERER?
Harrison Ford … Sgt. Joe Gavilan
Josh Hartnett … Det. K.C. Calden
Lena Olin … Ruby
Bruce Greenwood … Lt. Bennie Macko
Isaiah Washington … Antoine Sartain
Lolita Davidovich … Cleo Ricard
Keith David … Leon
Master P … Julius Armas
Gladys Knight … Olivia Robidoux
Lou Diamond Phillips … Wanda
Meredith Scott Lynn … I.A. Detective Jackson
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|Distributor||Columbia Pictures, a division of Sony Pictures|
When a movie is ruined by unnecessary offensive content, it’s often because the bad is so strong it overcomes the good. But occasionally you’ll find a case where the offensive content isn’t very heavy, but there IS no good. And this is one of those films. Okay, the bad guys do get caught at the end, I guess that’s a good thing—but if something that’s in almost every movie is the only good thing in a movie full of profanity and sexual situations—oh, and “good guys” who steal cars—that’s not saying much, is it? The lack of any good morals to walk away with makes the offensive content stand out—when it would otherwise be not too worse than average—so that is all the movie leaves us with. There are a few lines to nod at in this film, but the point is that you don’t walk away with anything good.
I’ll briefly go over the plot as best I can; I just hope I remember it well enough. I got so bored, I probably zoned out some times. Two detectives, Gavilan (Harrison Ford) and Calden (Josh Hartnett), have to investigating the murders of a DJ’s rappers, while also trying to keep up with their jobs—real estate and acting, respectively. They also have to work against a crooked cop who is bitter toward Gavilan. But to catch the killers, they need to elicit paranormal help from Gavilan’s girlfriend.
There are thirteen misuses of “God,” four of “Christ,” two of “Jesus,” ten of “damn,” two of “hell.” (A few of those are combined in their traditional ways.) I heard one f-word in a song, but it’s hard to tell in many cases. Once again, I’m glad secular rap is hard to understand. There are several s-words, and an occasional use of other, milder language.
Most of the violence is just action—chases, dodging gunfire, and the like. The crime scene just shows bodies with some blood on them. There’s one scene that shows bullets hitting a villain, but it’s not bloody.
There are two scenes of sexual innuendo. Despite the fact that there’s no nudity, they’re still very sensual and show lots of skin. In both cases, the activity is between people who are not married.
Some of the offensive content is important to the plot. As I mentioned, Gavilan’s girlfriend uses mental witchcraft help to the detective. This is actually what leads them to where they need to go, so it is a very important step in the investigation. Also, Calden is involved with yoga, not just for the physical health, but for pagan spirituality.
The other main thing is the thing I am so sick of seeing in cop movies—cops stealing cars. I am indignant at how many movies have hot pursuit scenes where cops steal people’s cars to get away or chase someone. In this movie, both detectives hijack cars. In fact, Calden hijacks a car with two young children in it, and is using it to chase the villains—putting their lives in danger. This is meant to be funny, but should be angering.
Regardless of moral quality, this film is very poor. Even secular reviews, who may not be bothered by the offensive content, all agreed that it was terrible. The initial idea is clever, but the plot that was built on it just didn’t work out. The script was under par. It’s supposed to be a comedy but humiliates itself; I can think of about two scenes in this film that I thought were actually funny. The effects and some of the scenery were okay. The acting is very good, but this film is not worthy of Harrison Ford. There are some clever strategies, but nothing you wouldn’t find in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movies—or the old black and white Sherlock Holmes movies, for that matter.
Ironically, when Hollywood made this film, which is set in Hollywood, it showed us just how perverted they are. They depict themselves honestly, but the dirt is glamorized. For anyone who’s still even reading this, I don’t recommend “Hollywood Homicide.” It’s just one big disappointment.
Violence: Moderate / Profanity: Heavy / Sex/Nudity: Moderate
See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.