Charlie's Angels

Franchise: “Charlie’s Angel’s” (2000), “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle” (2003)

Though touted by the filmmakers as a “woke feminist” version of the franchise, this popcorn flick is a fun, sassy, and ultimately forgettable way to spend two hours.

After forty years in the business, John Bosley (Patrick Stewart) has closed his last case. The agency pats him on the back, gives him a nice watch, and sends him into retirement. This leaves his two favorite agents, the tomboy Sabina (Kristen Stewart) and sharp-shooting Jane (Ella Balinska), seeking a new handler. The agency entrusts them to a new Bosley (Elizabeth Banks).

Before long, a case drops into their laps. The brilliant Elena (Naomi Scott) has developed a new source of energy, but it’s not ready to promote on the public market. It has a fatal and lethal flaw—any hacker can get into it, and direct the energy stream outward, turning it into a weapon. Her boss doesn’t care. He tells her to shut up and just do her job, with no delays to fix the problem. Troubled by this, Elena turns over the information to the agency—but midway through the conversation, a foreign agent (Jonathan Tucker) tries to kill her.

This puts the “angels” on the run, desperate to find out who wants her dead and why. Caught up in the middle of everything, Elena goes along for the ride—and maybe, just maybe, it’ll spark an interest in her, towards being an “angel” herself…

This film has lukewarm trailers and lackluster reviews. It’s not as awful as some reviewers make it out to be, it’s just not that memorable. The three leading ladies have talent and chemistry together, but Sabina in particular, as the most likable and fun-loving of the girls, needed more humor in of the script. It’s one thing to tell us she’s “annoying sometimes,” and another to show us.

The story is straightforward, with lots of room for action sequences, which means it’s easy to follow. And I liked the girls as characters. They all had something to learn or overcome, even if it was to find faith in their own abilities or admit to their emotional vulnerabilities. There are a few humorous throwbacks to earlier adaptations of the franchise. But the plot twist isn’t that surprising, and there’s nothing thought-provoking to chew on, walking out of the theater.

The angels display typical lackadaisical morals—stealing cars and racking up a high body count, although they use knock-out patches where applicable. There’s a lot of violence, conducted by and against them. It’s realistic that much of the time, bigger, stronger men overpower them. They show good teamwork in fighting together, protecting each other, and looking out for each other, even if it means losing their mark. People get pummeled, kicked down stairs, knocked out, choked, fall from great heights, get elbowed in the face, shot at (and occasionally hit by bullets), and flipped over in cars. A girl skids off her bike, crashing it into someone and knocking him off his feet. A car rams another, sending it tumbling end over end down some steps and into the river where it sinks. A man is shot in the head and dies (we see nothing too graphic). The angels hit men in the crotch several times. A man is crushed to death in a rock quarry. A man puts a dog collar around a woman’s neck and tries to strangle her. Electrical explosions kill several people.

As usual, the camera ogles angels dressed in skimpy clothing, but the only sexually suggestive material comes during the opening scene, when a provocatively dressed Sabina (Kristen Stewart) flirts with a man, including licking food off his finger, touching his crotch with her foot under the table, wrapping something around his neck, and gyrating around in a skimpy dress. She wears other short, revealing clothes. Her shorts show off part of her backside. She flirts with and leers at a few women. We see women in sports bras several times and see a transgender woman during the end credits. There are two sexual references.

There’s about a dozen uses of the s-word. God’s name is taken in vain as many times, and “Jesus” is abused twice. Other problems include sexual slang, references to backsides, “hell,” and one “bloody.” There are alternate versions of the f-word (“mofo”). A woman flips someone off. There’s some drinking, both in party and private settings.

I liked the theme of sisterhood and friendship. The “angels” are strongest when they work together and they never show any petty rivalries or attempt to one-up each other. Each brings a unique skill set to their job, and they create a lot of fun as a madcap trio. But, the magic just wasn’t in it.

• Violence: Heavy— includes… • deadly impalement • man fatallly sucked into a large rock crusher • various violent fight scenes • gun battles, including machine guns • various shootings including head shots and blood splatter • vehicle explodes • man dead in water with blood • massive explosion • dangling from height while fighting • man thrown out of a high window • shooting people with sedative darts (multiple instances) • car rammed into water where it sinks
• Vulgar/Crude language: Heavy— • “motherf***er” and “This mo-fo” • “f***ing” • “d*ck” (2) • s-words (13) • “a**” (2) • “bloody” • “b*tch” • “chick”
• Profane language: Heavy— • “J*sus” (2) • “G*d” (16) • “h*ll” (6) • “d*mn” (2)
• Sex: Moderately Heavy— • seduction • woman sucks on a man’s finger (brief) • woman puts bare feet on man’s crotch • man rubs woman’s bare leg • sexy dancing • sexual innuendos • light homsexual allusions
• Drugs/Alcohol: Moderately Heavy— • various scenes of drinking • man apparently intoxicated • repeated use of tranquilizer drugs
• Nudity: Moderate— • woman in bikini • cleavage (multiple scenes) • woman in sports bra • woman wearing skimpy shorts (multiple scenes) • upper male nudity in dancing scene
• Occult: None

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