Fool’s Gold

The chemistry between Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey was in the forefront in advertising “Fool’s Gold.” Producers were hoping to repeat the enormous success of “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” While Hudson and McConaughey still have drawing power onscreen, this movie is washed out from having any sizzle. The audience is left with a dragged-out, cheesy film.

In the story, Tess and Ben “Finn” Finnegan are getting divorced. Both were treasure hunters, and Tess is tired of Finn’s obsession and lack of status. To start her life over again, Tess gets a job as a stewardess on the yacht of millionaire Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland). Finn remains obsessed with finding the Queen’s Dowry—forty chests of gold and jewelry lost at sea in 1715. In order to finance his quest, Finn gets assistance from some loan sharks. Once he finds an 18th century artifact, pinpointing the general area of the treasure, the criminals attempt to kill Finn and find the treasure for themselves.

Broke and stranded, Finn sees an anchored yacht as his last chance at finding the Queen’s Dowry. After saving the heiress’ hat, Finn finds himself on the yacht, befriending a thankful Nigel Honeycutt. Much to the dismay of Tess, Finn is able to convince the millionaire to join him in hunting for the treasure before the hoodlums locate it.

The movie suffers greatly from indecisiveness. “Fool’s Gold” tries to conquer two genres: romantic comedy and action/adventure. It sadly fails at both. The romantic scenes between Tess and Finn are few and far between. People expecting another romantic comedy between the two talented actors will be strongly disappointed. When the scenes do arrive, they are unbelievable and lack charm or humor. I heard few chuckles from the audience throughout the film. Once Tess’ bickering ended and a tender moment would begin, the tempo of the movie would immediately shift into the long, boring treasure quest. The hunt has absolutely no surprise twist or turns; the journey is tediously laid out with the character’s toured dialogue.

Director Andy Tennant wanted to guarantee that viewers knew exactly what the Queen’s Dowry was. He explains the treasure’s history in about three paragraphs in the opening sequence. However, it is all painstakingly repeated in prosaic, annoying scenes. While Tess and Finn are awed in remembrance, as they tell Nigel Honeycutt the befuddling times and dates, I found myself feeling as if I were sitting in a college lecture: bored and confused.

This movie is permeated with profanity and misuses of the Lord’s name. It seems as long as the certain, warranted R-rated profanity is avoided, films lately have been heaping up their dialogue with excessive profanities. In total, I counted over 40 curse words (20 sh*t, 5 GD, 5 a*s, 3 h*ll, 4 SOBs, 2 d**n, 2 b**tards). They also used 3 BS as they tried to pay homage to Hudson’s and McConaughey’s “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” card game. No one in the crowd laughed, including myself.

The Lord’s name is also said in vain at least 32 times. These misuses are used without regard in almost all action scenes and regular conversations.

Sex is used in abundance. The dialogue is filled with sexual references and jokes. Tess says she just married Finn “for the sex.” Honeycutt’s daughter is an obvious spoof of Paris Hilton. She is very dumb, and her only objective is to be the ditzy heiress who wears very revealing clothes. Her attire leaves very little to the imagination. In one scene, a sword lands between her legs, the camera lingers in an up-close crotch shot.

Cleavage is shown throughout the movie. As one would expect, skimpy bikinis are common, as is low-cut attire. Most shockingly, a woman flashes McConaughey’s character before she drives away in her boat. She removes her entire bikini top, and the camera stays just long enough for the viewer to view her entire breasts. I was offended, but not very surprised to see this in a PG-13 movie. Sadly, PG-13 movies are now becoming the new “R”.

The movie also shows violence and a fair amount of blood. A criminal’s foot is shot, a piece of an ear is clipped off by a gun shot, and Finn is beaten on more than one occasion. Tess also hits a man with a rock, and he, in turn, punches her unconscious.

“Fool’s Gold” does illustrate what true, biblical love should be about. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Paul wrote:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

From the beginning of the movie, Finn never wants to divorce Tess and proclaims his love for her. He even tries to stop her from divorcing him during the divorce meeting. Through the film, Finn proves his love again and again by risking his own life to save Tess’. He is always kind, protective, and hopeful toward Tess.

Tess’ love for Finn, however, is never convincing. She never shows the true Biblical definition of love. During their divorce meeting, Tess selfishly tells her lawyer she married Finn because of the great sex. Throughout the entire movie, she complains over and over again about Finn’s minor flaws. At one point, she even blames Finn and the state of Florida for ruining her life. Her lawyer quickly corrects her and wisely says, “No, you ruined your own life.”

People will often blame God and others for all situations in their lives. However, we are all responsible for our own sins and their consequences, in James 1:13-14 it says:

When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.

Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey have strong, on-screen chemistry. However, they could not save this film; it is an all-around failure. The creators did succeed in squeezing in much offense. For the above reasons, I do not and cannot recommend “Fool’s Gold.” Avoid taking your kids to see this filthy movie. If you want a clean, fast action/adventure movie, go see the new “National Treasure.”

Violence: Moderate / Profanity: Heavy / Sex/Nudity: Heavy

See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.