Bullet Train

Neutral—Intrigue and the lives of various international characters are entwined aboard a high-speed bullet train in Japan. Based on the many men in the audience laughing out loud throughout the movie, it is apparently supposed to be a comedy. Based on the comments of the many women in the ladies room after the movie, the extremely over-the-top violence, excessive blood and gore and profanity throughout was too much. Like a dish far too spicy to eat, the violence over powered and over shadowed any enjoyment. Although, I won’t see lemons, tangerines, or ladybugs the same way and it does give new meaning to Thomas the Tank Engine.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 4½

Neutral—My cousin suggested my Grandma and I see it. It was good, but slow at times and packed at others. From a Christian perspective, know that there is some nudity (like doggy style sex), and over 100+ F words according to IMDB.

My Grandma actually asked my cousin how long the movie was and admitted that she didn’t care for the language. Cousin and Grandma gave it a 7, I gave it an 8. It’s worth seeing in theaters if you can get past the language like I can. (To be honest, as a 24-year-old Christian, I hate hearing God’s Name misused more than the F-word.)
My Ratings: Moral rating: Very Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 4

Negative—I like Brad Pitt, and the director of the movie, but I regret watching all that violence (didn’t even look upon it most of the time). I think the story in and of itself is meh, (don’t want to spoil it for anyone who still chooses to see it) and though Brad Pitt is an incredible actor, this movie trivializes murder, violence, and degrades certain groups of people to the point that it becomes obvious what’s happening. The message is clear, that men are emasculated, violence and murder are ok, and love is non existent. It pokes fun of people trying to “get in touch with their feelings” and makes it seem like Americans are weak, and a cause of much bad luck for others, though ultimately it appears as though revenge is the main idea streaming throughout it. I don’t know why I didn’t shut it off, perhaps my love for Brad Pitt deterred me, but I want my 2 hours back and will never get it.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: no opinion

…A talented cast and high-speed setting are wasted on a glib, bloody comedy of the post-Tarantino school… All “Bullet Train” had to be was high-gloss, all-star, late-summer nonsense, but instead it gives high-gloss, all-star, late-summer nonsense a bad name. …[1½/4]

…bombastic, bloody, and laden with shallow irony… Things really have to be precisely calibrated for comedy to work amidst all of this vicious violence—blood pours from eye sockets, gushes from neck arteries, and spouts from nearly decapitated heads—but no such luck. Instead, a talented ensemble of actors must stumble their way through chaotic tone shifts and declarations of irony that feel both uninspired and cruel. …

Even Brad Pitt can’t lend “Bullet Train” some steam …You know an action movie’s bad when it saps your will to live. …It’s a shrill, razor-shredded mess, a fringy assemblage of action, cartoony violence, and allegedly snappy dialogue that has the soporific effect of white noise. This is proof that too much lousy action is worse than no action at all. …

…its contorted plotting and one-note characters get real tedious real fast… For a movie with so much volatile physicality and bruising punishment, there’s an inertia about the whole thing, a soullessness that makes every contrived smirk grate. We don’t care about who gets pounded to a pulp or shot to pieces because there are no characters to root for — good guys or bad. …

…Dead on arrival… Brad Pitt’s ‘Bullet Train’ is shooting nothing but blanks… a try-hard bloodbath that’s low on genuine thrills. …there isn’t a single memorable skirmish amidst this sea of fast cuts and dull quips. …

…As a motor-mouthing smart-ass, the 58-year-old Pitt is badly miscast – every detail here seems tailored to Ryan Reynolds, director David Leitch’s Deadpool collaborator – while the film's bulging cast and bloated running time recalls those all-star capers of the 1960s: imagine “It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” crossed with a migraine. For the sake of all that’s holy, take the bus. …[1/5]

…goes off the rails… Leitch’s talky, violent hit man movie, with Brad Pitt at the center of an over-cranked ensemble cast, reminds us why Hollywood has all but abandoned attempts to copy the successes of Tarantino and Ritchie. This film is not just bloated, tedious, dim-witted, and glib, it’s also redundant. …

Brad Pitt’s charms can’t save ‘Bullet Train’ from movie oblivion… It’s not like bad Tarantino. That would be too kind. It’s like an imitation of a bad imitation of Tarantino — violent, unfelt and witless, and straining to be funny. …

…the awkward squirm of watching talented actors debase themselves for laughs that never come. …

…a hyper-stylized, hyper-violent action film that rarely comes up for air. It’s also a big ol’ mess. …

…Sadly, the thing is so chaotically exhausting it proves beyond the talented actors’ saving. …

…“Bullet Train” feels like it comes from the same brain as “Snatch,” wearing its pop style on its sleeve — a “Kill Bill”-like mix of martial arts, manga and gabby hitman movie influences, minus the vision or wit that implies. …

…bloody, over-the-top violence and rising body count…

…there’s a swimming pool’s worth of blood…

…I can’t say the thing ever goes off the rails because it never was on the rails to begin with. …None of the characters, Pitt’s included, remotely resembles actual human beings…