Blades of Glory

Chazz Michael Michaels (played by Will Ferrell) is an ice skater, one who is aggressive, crude, lewd, and a sex addict (by his own admission). Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder) is a child skater, adopted from an orphanage, and given the best money-and-science can buy to ensure that he becomes a gold medallist. When the two of them have to share a gold medal, a fight ensues on the podium at the World Championship Games, and they are banned from single men’s skating FOREVER.

3½ years later, we find Chazz working in a cheap Ice Capade-like group and Jimmy working for a skate shop. They both are miserable with their lives. When the two learn that they can skate in pair’s skating, they reluctantly team up to try to win a gold medal, and are coached by Craig T. Nelson. However, they have to watch out for the brother-sister pair of Stanz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg who refuse to let anything prevent them from winning the gold.

First, I need to say that this movie received a PG-13 movie “for crude and sexual humor, language, a comic violent image and some drug references.” There is so much that one can label crude that I could not even begin to list. As I watched the movie and took notes, I could not write fast enough to get it all down. With that said, I will try my best to outline the more severe points.

VIOLENCE: In the beginning of the movie, Chazz and Jimmy have a knock-down, drag out fight. They are shown with bloody cuts about the face. A mascot is caught on fire. When Chazz is working in the Ice Capades, people throw food at him on the ice. Jimmy kicks Chazz’s crotch, and later Chazz retaliates by kicking Jimmy in the crotch. Chazz slaps a woman on the rear end. A fuzzy film clip is shown of a ice skating move called the Iron Lotus—performed in North Korea, and the woman is shown with her bloody head coming off. The brother and sister Van Waldenbergs try to prevent Chazz and Jimmy from competing. Chazz is tied up in a warehouse, and Jimmy is handcuffed to a toilet stall. There is a chase scene between Stanz and Chazz. Stanz shoots at Chazz with a crossbow and hits a mascot.

NUDITY/SEXUAL CONTENT: In the opening scene, Chazz skates provocatively and grabs his crotch while skating. Women throw their bras at him on the ice. There is a woman shown with just her bra on. A TV clip shows Chazz posed for an adult film and in the magazine Maxim. Chazz is shown in his dressing room with several barely clad women. A man is shown pulling his pants down and sitting on a toilet. Both Chazz and Jimmy are shown in their underwear. Chazz walks around with a cloth tied around him exposing more than I cared to see. Chazz also sings parts of Lady Hump by the Black-Eyed Peas. Chazz attends a sex addicts meeting, and a woman has a revealing blouse on. There is a woman paramedic with an open top, revealing much cleavage.

LANGUAGE: There is excessive use of crude language. There were so many usages I lost track. Although I was surprised that the f-word was never used, there were many other words used continually. In addition to the swear words, the crude humor just kept coming. God’s name is taken in vain several times, as well as Jesus, and a reference to the Virgin Mary. If you are offended by language, this is not the movie to see.

OTHER: The sexual content and suggestions are also continuous in this film. Chazz is a sex addict. He continually talks about sex and his body parts. There are references to drugs, a skater is shown as Marilyn Monroe taking pills, alcohol is abused throughout the film, and there is a brother and sister shown kissing passionately.

There are a couple of moral messages that stand out in this movie. Chazz is absolutely miserable with his life. He is a self-proclaimed sex addict and abuses drugs and alcohol. He never is really happy until the end. Chazz and Jimmy develop a real friendship and Chazz is willing to walk away from a sexual encounter because of that friendship.

Chazz and Jimmy persevere and end up winning the gold. We can apply a lesson from the Bible where Paul tells us to persevere—“and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Jon Heder and Will Ferrell played their parts well, but this was a senseless, stupid movie, yet I enjoyed it. BUT—this is clearly an adult movie. There were plenty of 12-14 year olds in the theater without parental guidance, and I know I would not let my child see it. There is only one word that I can use to describe this movie—BIZARRE. It is rare when I see a movie that I personally find stupid and morally offensive and yet find myself somehow enjoying it.

Violence: Moderate / Profanity: Heavy / Sex/Nudity: Moderate

• Positive
• Negative
• Young people