Delivery Man

Finding out you are going to be a parent is exciting and a bit scary. Finding out you fathered 533 children is just terrifying.

David Woznizk (Vince Vaughn) is a grown up slacker who seems to always take the easy way out. He doesn’t commit himself 100% to anything—his job, his relationship with his girlfriend or his finances. He’s a nice guy who just ends up aggravating those who love him because they see him as always looking for a gimmick.

He works with his father and two brothers at the family meat market. It takes him all day to deliver the meat, he owes a debt of $80,000 to someone looking to collect by any means necessary, and he has decided to grow marijuana to make the money to pay off his debt. He goes to visit his girlfriend Emma (Cobie Smulders), who unhappy with his irresponsible behavior, ends their relationship. During this conversation, she informs him she is pregnant, but will do it on her own.

In the midst of all the turmoil in David’s life, he finds out he is the father of 533 children, 142 of who have a legal case to try to discover his identity. It turns out twenty some years ago, David made “donations” to a fertility clinic. His best friend Brett (Chris Pratt) an attorney, advises him not to let his identity be known.

David can’t help himself and looks at the identity of some of his children. Curious about them, he becomes a guardian angel, of sorts, to many of his children. Without revealing his identity, he helps them out by offering money, the use of his truck and friendly advice. He becomes torn by the paternal feelings he now has and an opportunity to pursue legal action against the clinic, which could lead to a large amount of money, should he win.

Unfortunately, Hollywood comedies often equal crude humor. Vince Vaughn is known for his comedic roles with off-color humor, but surprisingly, this film is relatively mild in its crass behavior. There is still some objectionable content. I counted three swears: B*tch, sh*t, f**k. There is some dirty diaper talk by Alesky (Bobby Moynihan), David’s brother, after Alesky’s wife gives birth to his first son. Frankly I didn’t find this offensive. I think it was no worse than any diaper talk parents with newborns have had.

David’s girlfriend has a child out of wedlock, there is gay man kissing another man, one suggestion of abortion and references to masturbating, which are said in clever ways that make such talk far less offensive than it could have been. There is no nudity, other than cleavage, and in spite of the topic of so many children, no sex scenes.

One thing I feel that is so prevalent in our society, entertainment, as well as real life, is the turning away from the idea of waiting until marriage to have children. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:4 “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

I think society does our children a disservice when it continues to show the worldly view of sex before and/or outside of marriage, and children before marriage, or with no marriage at all. The idea of abortion was mentioned just briefly, but I was bothered by it being in the film at all.

Psalm 139:13-16 says “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Psalm 127:3 also says “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

There are some positives about this movie. David does feel paternal instincts when he sees each of his children. I especially like that he takes a more active role in the life of his disabled son. That is a heartfelt moment. He also tells his girlfriend that no one else can decide if a dad can be a dad to a child, except the dad. What I like about this is his determination to be a part of that child’s life, in spite of her trying to push him away. He embraces his role as a father, which helps him to grow up and make changes in his own life. He grows as a man.

All in all, this movie isn’t the funniest comedy but is far less offensive than I had expected. I think fans of Vince Vaughn will like it, and those who enjoy comedy but don’t like the crude dialog that usually accompanies it may try this movie.

Violence: Moderate / Profanity: Moderate to heavy—“God” (2), “G*d-d*mn,” “My G*d,” “hell” (9), f-word, s-word, a**-hole, misc. sexual slang / Sexual talk: Heavy

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