A Million Ways to Die in the West

When previews for this film were first released, I suspected that this would be a typical Seth MacFarlene work, with a fair amount of violence, sex, and language; my suspicions and expectations were right, and a little bit exceeded, especially with the amount of violence in the film. Not to say that this is the worst film, as I thought it was rather funny, despite the offensive religious and sexual humor.

This western-styled comedy film stars Seth MacFarlene as Albert, a cowardly sheep farmer, who loses his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) to wealthy moustachery shop owner Foy (Neil Patrick Harris); Albert sets out to win back Louise with the help of a drifter that comes to town named Anna (Charlize Theron), who is secretly on the run from her violent husband Clinch (Liam Neeson).

This is a rather funny film, with some bathroom humor (a guilty pleasure of mine), some funny (though graphic) death scenes, and a heartwarming story about Albert’s character development and growing friendship with Anna.

Albert and Anna’s relationship is not sexual (at least not entirely), though flirting is involved as Anna teaches Albert how to shoot a gun, and the two do end up kissing each other, without Albert knowing that Anna is married to Clinch.

***SPOILER*** There is a scene later in the film after Albert goes on a drug trip and sees a vision of him eventually marrying Anna, so it is implied that Albert does have good intentions for this girl. ***END SPOILER***

However, despite the rather positive plot with Albert and Anna, it does not make up for the inappropriate subject matter that runs rampant throughout the movie.

Language: The film is littered with much coarse language, so much so that it was hard to keep count. There are over 50 uses of “f**k,” “s**t” (35+), at least a dozen uses of “a**hole,” “hell,” and “b***h;” at least one or two dozen uses of God’s name offensively (“godd**n,” and God and Jesus’ names used in vain), and different offensive words for genitalia (“d**k,” “c**k,” “p***y).

Sexual content: There is also a lot of sexual content and reference. In one scene a character’s girlfriend kisses his face while he masturbates. There are a few scenes with characters making out (though it does not go further than that). An outlaw attempts to rape his wife, though is knocked out with his rear end exposed. A character’s girlfriend flashes her privates at him (it is not shown, though easily implied). There are also multiple sexual references, with some characters talking about f**king, and another lying about a sexual encounter to make his ex jealous. There are also some scenes which show sheep genitalia, with one sheep peeing on one of the characters, and another scene which shows five sheep dancing and peeing in a synchronized fashion at the end of the tune.

A subplot with Albert’s best friend Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) dates a prostitute named Ruth (Sarah Silverman). The two of them are “Christian” and have both agreed to save sex with each other until their marriage; the key term is “with each other.” Though the two of them are waiting for marriage to have sex with each other, Ruth continues to have sexual encounters with “at least 15 guys a day,” and according to Edward “10 on a slow day.” ***SPOILER*** Later on in the film, Edward and Ruth prepare to have sex, believing that Clinch is going to kill them, though they are stopped when Anna runs in on them hoping to seek sanctuary from Cinch. Later, near the end of the film, the two set out to f**k under a tree, though it is only said and not shown. ***END SPOILER*** This subplot was easily the most unsettling part of the film for me, as it is poking fun at the hypocrisy of these characters’ relationship and religious beliefs.

Violence: Another big fraction of the film’s subject matter comes from its use of violence. However, people walking into this film should have expected this, as the film is titled “A Million Ways to Die in the West.” If the film did show a million ways to die, the film would be much longer than two hours, but there are at least some ways shown and explained. Albert’s character at the beginning of the film famously quotes that everything that is not you wants to kill you, including outlaws, angry drunk people, scorned hookers, major and minor injuries, Indians, the weather, going to the bathroom, going to the town’s doctor (who has very abnormal ways of treating injuries, including having birds peck at scrapes), and eating too much spicy food. There are scenes which show people getting shot, punched, badly beaten (one character gets graphically beaten to death in a jail cell), the town’s dead mayor is dragged away by wolves, people are stabbed by broken beer bottles, a salesman is hit by a charging bull, domestic abuse (a husband slapping his wife), and countless other scenes featuring death and major injuries. There is also a scene where a person’s head is crushed after a big block of ice lands on him.

There are also a few slapstick moments, with Albert’s character getting hit in the face by a falling skeet, him getting dragged by a horse, and failing numerous times to shoot beer bottles on a fence.

Drug and alcohol abuse: There is a lot of drug and alcohol abuse throughout, with many scenes taking place in a bar/brothel, with many people getting drunk before having sex or getting into a brawl. There is also a scene where two characters get “stoned” on pot cookies. Later, near the end of the film, a character camps with a local Indian tribe, and they give him a drug in order to find his inner self; he exceeds the amount he is supposed to take and is warned by the chief that he is “totally gonna freak out and probably die.” He then has a vision which takes him to different embarrassing points in his life, and then sees talking animals and different abnormal shapes and objects around him.

Although this film may have some humorous moments (depending on your viewpoint and level of maturity—even most secular critics did not find it funny), it is NOT a movie for followers of Christ. MacFarlene is notorious for pushing the envelope in every sense of the term—based on sex, language, violence, drugs, and religion. His contempt for Christians is emphasized greatly.

Violence: Extreme / Profanity: Extreme / Sex: Heavy to extreme

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