She's Out of My League

“She’s Out of My League” should become this new (2010) decade’s template for the film that should be “Out-of-My-League-for-everyone-who-calls-themselves-Christian,” like “There’s Something about Mary” should have been for the 1990’s and “American Pie 2” should have been for the first decade of the 21st Century! [Please go back and read the regrets in the viewer comments on this very Web site from Christians who saw those two films.] If I were categorizing films using the “irregular comparative adjectives” from grammar class—then “There’s Something About Mary” was BAD (1990’s), “American Pie 2” was WORSE (2000’s), and “She’s Out of My League” fits in the category of WORST (2010), in terms of raunchy degradation for the soul—and this decade has only just begun. [We’ll just skip over the category of SUPERBAD because that one is occupied in its own private class—by the 2007 film of the same name.]

Just when you thought that films targeting young, hormonally-active guys from ages 13-25 couldn’t get any worse, a new threshold is broken in Hollywood. Seriously, this movie redefines the meaning of “sleazy,” “scummy,” and perniciously lascivious. I am ashamed to say that I even saw this film, let alone reviewed it. For some reason, I thought that with a DreamWorks distribution label attached to it, along with the sort of innocent-coming-of-age-story-line about a young man suffering from low self esteem who hits the jackpot by gaining the interest of a perfect “10” female would be “toned down” enough for a reviewer like me to tolerate. NOT! This is NOT a date movie by any stretch of the imagination.

As I took notes for this review during the movie’s opening weekend, I prayed: 1) that I would not be recognized by anyone (not wanting to offend anyone’s conscience—1 Cor. 8:10-13), 2) and that, while I wrote and evaluated, I would not be unduly influenced by the blatant sexual perversity pouring from screen in order for me to aptly characterize this shoddy, vagrant production—and prevent as many people as possible from attending this movie as a result of this review.

Hollywood is notorious for dumping “trashy” films out into the open market right after the Academy Awards—kind of like the family that puts out the cheap candy at the end of Halloween night because all the good stuff went early in the evening. This year is no exception. Viewers beware. This film, undoubtedly, is the first of many unsavory, so-called, “treats” that lay in store for the addicted public.

Summary in a Hurry

The male lead character and protagonist’s name is Kirk Kettner (Jay Baruchel, Canadian actor from “Knocked Up,” “Tropic Thunder”) [who kind of shows up on camera as a cross between Michael Cera—also Canadian—and Woody Allen], and plays just an average Joe, who happens to get lucky, maybe. Though he’s stuck in what appears to be a dead-end job as a TSA security agent in the Pittsburgh Airport, fate decides that he would meet Molly (Alice Eve), a successful and outrageously gorgeous “10,” who falls for him, although she’s rebounding herself out of a failed relationship with a super stud named Cam (Geoff Stults), who flies a plane called “Foot Long,” for not so subtle reasons.

Kirk is bewildered, and so are his friends, his family, and even his ex-girlfriend Marne (Lindsay Sloane), who is so weird that she hangs out with her new boyfriend at Kirk’s parents’ house—a freakish family of perverts that resembles white-trailer-trash who—oddly—landed dead center in a normal, middle-class neighborhood inside a ranch-style home with a pool. Kirk’s co-workers and friends from the airport (not believable that they would all be friends), particularly one named Stainer (T.J. Miller), all seem to think he should “give it up,” since he’s only a “5” and she’s a “10.” They have an elaborate rating system for what constitutes legitimate dating match-ups—far from any biblical guidelines for dating. This was about the only creative portion of writing in the film—which, sadly, probably filled only a page or two, at best.

The rest of the story is so contrived and predictable that it’s borderline nocuous to recall, considering the content. There are no implications of right or wrong in the movie, no sense of decency. I think I actually counted most of the 10 Commandments being violated at least 3 times in succession—almost as if it were intentional.

The writers of this film seem amateur, at best, and are capitalizing on the sex drive of teen males—or males that are in the state of “arrested development.” (Their previously unsuccessful film was actually called “Sex Drive” which, in some ways, acted as a precursor to this one.) In “…League,” characters are strung along like life-sized paper cut-outs, and the audience isn’t given a single reason to truly care either about the self-effacing Kirk or his spoiled rich girl friend, Molly.

The young 31 year old director, Jim Field Smith, of the UK, is operating with much the same overall “worldview” and insight as the 28 year old writers of “Superbad,” also from Canada. I personally like to stereotype all of them, including the writers of this film, as the “dweebs” who never got out much in high school, who spent a lot of time playing video games, talking in chat rooms, remaining on their computers day and night, and who perfected the art of a potent, male, teenage fantasy-life. They are truly in a state of perpetual “arrested development.” This is the perfect segue for my list of objectionable content.

Objectionable Content

At some point, someone needs to cry “FOUL”! [I’m stepping out on the authority of Titus 2:6 with an admonition to young men to be sober-minded.] If even one so-called Christian reads this review and comes back with a criticism stating that “I’m over-reacting,” then they are missing the point! I have already read plenty of the hapless arguments from 16-25 year olds on this very Web site, supposedly coming from Christians, who critique the reviewer with comments like “What did you expect from an ‘R’ rated movie that said nudity, violence or language?” That’s not my point. This film was billed as a romantic comedy (with some language and sexual content), not a borderline-teenage-soft-core-porn film! I call that “bait and switch,” and, in this case, the “switch” moved to graphic images either given or implied that really call for a “clean rinse” with the Word of God (Psalm 119:9).

If you happened to have missed this review—and accidentally got harangued into to this film by friends with poor judgment, then Psalm 119:9 is where I would begin. I have to confess, I should probably have left the film when the first level of “shock and awe” was achieved, but by that point my Pauline-like indignation was fueled to full-speed ahead. I determined in that moment I would sit through the film in its entirety—just to make sure this would become a “TELL ALL REVIEW” to every parent who faithfully checks Christian Spotlight before allowing their children to attend films with friends—or even attend themselves.

The film includes a myriad of profanities. So many that I stopped counting—particularly of the “F” word, and there is even one scene on an airline—where the so-called protagonist (Kirk Ketten) yelled “F**$ you” to each individual family member, one by one, (except for his mother—the one who plays mom on TV’s “That 70’s Show”) finishing off with a general-all-purpose “F-You” to the entire plane, complete with the accompanying finger signals. The laughter I heard in the theater was definitely the “nervous-type,” like, “I can’t-believe-they-just-put-that-in-the-movie” kind of laughter. It wasn’t funny. It was pathetic.

No, I don’t have “virgin” ears, and yes, I’ve seen war movies or crime films where I have been able to overlook cursing that was true to life. But this film (if it even be lawful to call this a film) took teenage sexual comedy, merged it with the kind of writing you might see on “South Park,” added a dash of “dark-comedy,” and then covered it with a thin-sweet-chocolaty-coating—in the form of a pseudo romance—to make the viewer think that—what they are consuming—metaphorically speaking—is not the pure arsenic that it, in fact, is! Like thin edible, Asian, candy wrappers, the romance dissolves quickly in a sea of miry sexuality and hormonal angst. It should not be surprising that no one really cares whether or not Kirk got the girl in the end, because of what regularly came pouring out of his mouth.

Matt. 15:11 — “It’s not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a man.”

The other protagonist that we are supposed to care about is Molly—who, when you compare her to Kirk’s snide ex-girlfriend or his potty-mouthed, pregnant sister-in-law (well, almost sister-in-law—since she really isn’t actually legally married to his brother, but just the girlfriend), is supposed to be this beautiful, young, successful attorney-turned-party-planner who…

• doesn’t wear underwear
• thinks nothing of having sexual relations with anyone that tickles her fancy
• grinds herself in a sitting position on top of Kirk after a passionate kissing scene (just before her parents walk in on them unannounced) causing him to ejaculate in large quantities just as she jumps off the couch to meet the parents
• which triggers their huge indoor watch-dog to come licking at the front of Kirk’s fly and leg in one of the most disgusting scenes I’ve ever witnessed on screen—in what amounted to a borderline bestiality episode—since he really isn’t stopping the dog at all—out of fear—but hasn’t completely subsided in his climax either.

Other tortuous scenes include, but are not limited to the following (and there are so many that it would take too long to innumerate them all):

• multiple homosexual innuendos, including one of Kirk’s straight friend’s stating he “would have sex with Cam” because he is so attractive
• implied incestuous sexual overtones in the Kettner house
• an exhibitionist scene where one of Kirk’s friends drops his pants to show him what “cleaned up” down there looks like
• which leads to his only married buddy doing some male-on-male bonding during a gross testicle and pubic area shave-a-thon (where we get two or three full nude shots of Kirk from behind)
• implied 3-way forthcoming—in that Kirk’s ex-girlfriend is getting back with him, but keeping her other boyfriend as well, and they are all going to share a room on the family trip to Branson
• alcohol and drug consumption
• promotion of fornication and masturbation
• …and finally the constant razzing of a guy who refuses to cuss (implied Christian) who is the only married guy, overweight, slightly effeminate, and has an obsession with Disney princesses and generally is spineless—when it comes to his alleged values

I’m just getting started, but will end here.

Final Thoughts

The world thinks we are intolerant and prudish as believers. Sadly, so do many of the so-called Christian youth of today because they cannot see just how inundated with the culture they have become. Most teens spend many more hours consuming TV, movies, and music per week than they do hours in church-related activities. Many simply “don’t know—what they don’t know.” There is nothing new under the sun (Eccl. 1:9), and the depravity of man waxed full many times in history. We’ve been down this road before. It’s time to speak out. Talk to your theater managers and express your disappointment with this kind of film being shown there—namely, and unnecessary temptation for your kids. The argument, “if you don’t like it, don’t buy it” is not sufficient anymore. If you put out a large bag of potato chips and sugary drinks for kids every day, they will develop an appetite for more of them, even when they know they are bad for them. Horror films and teen-sex films are inexpensive to make, but are artificially creating a demand for more, like an addiction. Support positive and Christian films when they come to the theater, too. Vote with your voice, not just your pocket book. Have a talk with your friends, your children and/or your spouse. If we call ourselves a Christian, then we are “Out of the League” of the enemy and have been translated into the kingdom of God’s dear Son (Col. 1:13).

Violence: Moderate / Profanity: Extreme / Sex/Nudity: Extreme

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