Friday the 13th

Positive—I’m giving the film 2.5 outta ten, which is graciously much more than it deserves. This is an 85+ minute foray into mindnumbing stupidity, and I feel stiffed for having spent my hard-earned 6 dollars on it. I coulda bought a foot long with that. It would have tasted good too, and I would have been like, “man, that was a good sub.” No. I lost it on this trashy piece of celluloid. Potential viewers beware! You’re in for a scare! The scare that is your wallet suddenly a little flatter.

For a good month and a half or so, I was adamant about seeing this slasher, knowing full well it’d be loaded with superfluous extras like carnage and illicit sex. They are unfortunate gimmicks of the slasher genre. The former is bread ‘n butter; the latter has never made any sense. Its draw is its livelihood… well that and the longtime running gag that those misguided young adults always end up face-to-face with Norm McDonald’s scythe. “Friday the 13th” gets bogged down in this area. There are too many nude scenes and just enough sex scenes to sour Friday’s only shot at replayability. Shame, too, ‘cause this reboot of the Jason lineup isn’t half bad rolling with the backwoods redneck get-off-my-property angle: capricious sociopath systematically picking off intruders, one by one. Such an angle gives less an old school horror bent and more of a gritty, bare-knuckles action beatdown. But even subtracting the racy content wouldn’t salvage Sam Winchester’s quasi-horror pictee (the main reason for seeing this film—Jared Padalecki, ol' homeboy from my favorite TV show—“Supernatural”). Heck, even throwing out the gd’s wouldn’t answer Friday’s mournful S.O.S. The film loses its sense of reality by constructing this otherwordly man supposedly made of flesh and bone. Jason doesn’t slow down, doesn’t pause to rest, dump, or eat; he certainly doesn’t die, and he is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Effortlessly. Flawlessly. He’s a resurrected *cash cow* the writers are afraid to nail the coffin shut on. After all, they want sequels because sequels generate more money… usually. Let’s hope not with this one.

“My Bloody Valentine 3D” came out 4 weeks ago. Bloody and Jason’s one man parade both feature one of each of the onscreen brothers Dean and Sam (respectively) from the CW’s “Supernatural” (hence my patronage to these films). Just as with the show, where I prefer Dean’s cocky and oftentimes irreverent attitude to Sam’s more reserved demeanor, I stand by Dean ol' boy for cranking out the better film. Both movies followed in their predecessors' footsteps (as both 2009 titles are reboots) with some redundant horror/thriller cliches, but at least 3D strived to incorporate new with the old. There’s no such advance with Friday. My Bloody Valentine 3D is a visual treat between the tacky, 3D protruding, exploding or otherwise screen-filling objects and more importantly depth of field. Streetlights and buildings have a freakishly surreal sense of distance, as well as everything between the foreground and beyond. Plus, the psycho in 3D is a man leading a double life. Suave and amiable half the time, and not so buttery the other half. Moreover, the antagonist boasts no extraordinary abilities beyond his burning ire. With Jason, the laws are bent. The mystery is linear, and there’s nothing truly horrifying about his methods, unlike his fellow genre icon Leatherface—a man who mutilates and wields a chainsaw like a 100 ft pine tree crashed through his roof. To come full circle, Jason is too Rambo-like. Defensive. A creature of instinct. Part time Superman. Frighteningly so.

Note: Don’t be those parents, single or otherwise, that takes your 10 year old boy and his three friends to this show. Have you lost your mind???
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3

Neutral—I just wanted to say one thing… If you are on this site, you are probably looking for reviews for movies that you’d like to see in order to be entertained, but at the same time, stay true to your faith. As such, why would you watch a horror movie?

If you cringe at the thought of murder and illicit sex scenes, then you should NEVER watch a horror film… period.

Me, I believe that I am old and mature enough to watch just about anything and walk away with my soul unscathed. You may believe otherwise and that’s fine.

As for this movie, I knew it would be a “Jason Movie,” so I was mentally prepared for a lot of murder, topless women and more murder. I actually greatly dislike horror films, but my girlfriend wanted to scream at something, so we went. This movie does not disappoint in that respect. As a matter fact, I think it was a beautifully crafted movie for its genre.

The only thing that I didn’t like about this movie was that there was a woman with TWO under-10 kids there watching it too… deplorable… I noticed them leaving the theatre and any type of enjoyment I had from the movie was gone. It was then that I started thinking about just how morally bad that the movie was… and morally bad it is.

But you should expect that. If you go, just make sure you’re already secure in your Faith… this movie won’t turn you to the Devil. It’s just a movie… but please, please, please… leave all under-18 people AT HOME.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3½

Neutral—I was a big fan of Friday franchise and still enjoy watching them. This movie didn’t do too much for me when it decided to combine the first three films and make Jason into a kidnapper instead of what he does… kill. The one problem I have is when I see Christians come on here and act shocked at the type of movie this is and all the violence, nudity and language in this film. Are you kidding me?? It’s FRIDAY THE 13TH!!! What do you expect to happen in this film? You knew what to expect and what will happen, so why subject yourself to this, if you know what is going to happen? Common sense people. …
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3

Negative—There is so much profanity, nudity, fornication, and drug use that you forget that this is “Friday the 13th.” Back in the ‘80’s, the original used very little of all this, but used it in the sense of telling a moral message. It’s very sad that Hollywood as succumed to such tatics and we have allowed them to continue doing it by buying the tickets to such filth as this movie. I admit, I enjoyed all the originals. I was naive and not a follower of Christ then. Avoid this movie at all costs. It is terrible from a film making and a moral stand point.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 2½

Negative—DO NOT see this film, especially as a follower of Jesus Christ. Strong violence is one thing, but extremely graphic sexual content, and more f-words than one can count crowded the movie so much, it seemed no one could breathe. Should have expected this from a modern slasher film I guess. I need to repent.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3

Negative—The reason for putting this movie under the negative catagory and found this movie extremely offensive is described in the following sentences. I went to this movie in hopes of a thrilling movie of Jason trying to kill people… but I got more than I wanted to see or imagine. The violence in this movie is very overdone, much worse than the saw saga, and even reminded me of hostel. Swords slowly gushing through heads, spikes seen grahpically through necks squirting blood as the victim squirms like a hepless fawn. It was not just quick violence like you see in gladiator or saw movies… it was very disgusting.

The director seemed to like to throw in random topless girls too. One girl is hiding under a dock trying to hide from jason when a spike enters her head picks her up out of the water, the movie viewers get a long view as blood drips down her face while revealing her breasts and nipples. That I wish would be the worst I saw in this movie but… it was pretty much that over and over… I walked out of the movie ashamed and righteously angry, that I stayed in… very disgusting and very wrong to view such evil as a Christian. Save your money and your thought life for the next day… I was mad that I didn’t.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3

Positive—I saw the DVD version of “Friday the 13th,” I thought it had great scares in it, just about the same as the other one the only problem with this movie was it had to much sex and nudity, but, otherwise, I thought it was a good movie. Not a movie for kids though.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3½

Neutral—I don’t recall what ever urged me to go see this movie—my only guess is to see how they would deal with the material (how the makers did at making a remake.) ON that count, not very good--but neither was the original. Right off I have to bring up to objectionable content, and there’s a LOT of it.

What’s even worse in my case, I rented the “Killer Cut” on DVD, which extends the bad stuff quite a bit. In this version, there’s extended blood, stabbings, the second sex scene is definitely much longer and more graphic. It still earns the R-rating, but that still doesn’t excuse anything that happens.

In the least of it all (can you imagine?) is the language and drug content. There’s talk of drugs, usage of marijuana and alcohol and all the teens throw around vulgar curses—but the cruel violence and nudity/sexuality greatly outweigh it. Besides all that crud, this movie is just plain dumb. The original was terrible, too, but it was low-budget and starred then-unknown actors (like Kevin Bacon), so it was mildly excusable—but this from now? The writers played on everything in the book, no character development, no emotion, no scares—-it’s about the sex and violence. I don’t mind violence if there’s a point or it’s not the highlight, but this is just plain stupidity. I’m a little neutral on this film because I figure its a failure because the original was a failure in the same way. I definitely do NOT recommend it though, to horror fans or anyone else.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3

Neutral—As a college student, I greatly looked forward to time for good movie and entertainment. I believe I may have received both from this film. I greatly enjoyed the constant race from the seemingly superhuman villain that caught my attention from the first scene to the last. Although the slashing and artistry involved in the movie making intrigued me, it cannot redeem the film itself.

Because I am a college student, I am fairly used to the drinking and cursing that was portrayed in the film. Nevertheless, I was appalled by it; however, the most revolting aspect of all was the irresponsible and disgusting sexual content. The audience is forced to view multiple women’s exposed chests. Also, the audience suffers through not one but two explicit sex scenes. I went with two male friends and squirmed in my chair the entire time they were on the screen. The scenes last longer than a few minutes and are disturbing to me as a Christian. I felt convicted as I sat there watching two people performing an extremely private act.

As a Christian, I cannot recommend this movie to anyone. Although some would not find this offense, I most certainly did. I feel shame for the numbing of people, especially those who are followers of Jesus Christ, to such sinful acts. I recommend that you skip this movie and rent “Signs” with Mel Gibson, at least that has many redeeming qualities and a good message, unlike this film.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 3½

Positive—I thought Jason was awesome in this the fact that he has traps can shoot a bow the way he waits for his victims besides that it’s ok
My Ratings: Moral rating: Extremely Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 4