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MOVIE REVIEW

Hellboy

also known as “Helboj,” “Hellboy - Call of Darkness,” “Pragaro vaikis,” «Хеллбой»
MPA Rating: R-Rating (MPA) for strong bloody violence and gore throughout, and language.

Reviewed by: Charity Bishop
CONTRIBUTOR

Moral Rating: Extremely Offensive
Moviemaking Quality:
Primary Audience: Adults
Genre: Superhero Action Suspense Horror Remake IMAX
Length: 2 hr.
Year of Release: 2019
USA Release: April 12, 2019 (wide—3,303 theaters)
DVD: July 23, 2019
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Relevant Issues
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About Hell

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What is ETERNAL LIFE? Answer

What is ETERNAL DEATH? Answer

HELL: Fact or Fiction—Is it an actual place? Answer

Why was Hell made? Answer

Is there anyone in Hell today? Answer

Will there literally be a burning fire in Hell? Answer

What should you be willing to do to stay out of Hell? Answer

How can a God of love send anybody to Hell? Answer

About God’s love and an answer to the questions: What is the true nature of God’s love? Is it biblically accurate to say, “God hates the SIN, but loves the SINNER”?

What if I don’t believe in Hell? Answer

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THE GOOD NEWS—How to be saved from Hell. Answer

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What are DEMONS? Answer

Who is SATAN, the enemy of God and all people? Answer

What is a DEVIL?

Is Satan a real person that influences our world today? Is he affecting you? Answer

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Occult

What is the Occult? Answer

THE OCCULT—What does the Bible say about it? Answer

Sorceress and sorcery

Dark magic

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The truth about death

What is DEATH? and WHY does it exist? Answer in the Bible

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What is ETERNAL DEATH? Answer


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Featuring David HarbourHellboy
Ian McShaneProfessor Bruttenholm
Milla JovovichNimue the Blood Queen
Penelope MitchellGaneida
Sasha LaneAlice Monaghan
Daniel Dae KimBen Daimio
Thomas Haden ChurchLobster Johnson
Sophie OkonedoLady Hatton
Kristina KlebeLeni Riefenstahl
Brian Gleeson
See all »
Director Neil Marshall
Producer Summit Entertainment
Millennium Films
See all »
Distributor

Hellboy movies:
• “Hellboy” (2004)
• “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” (2008)
• “Hellboy” (2019)

Director del Toro’s earlier Hellboy movies were somewhat charming and funny action movies that didn’t take themselves too seriously. This remake is more faithful to the dark tone of the comic books, but leaves out the humor, irony, and heart.

Centuries ago, King Arthur showed up with his pal Merlin in tow to a meeting with the Blood Queen, the sorceress Nimue (Milla Jovovich), only to betray her, cut her into pieces, and scatter the parts across the world so she could never resurrect herself and make a place for evil to rule. Turns out this wasn’t such a hot plan after all, because hundreds of years later, a plot unfolds to collect all her pieces, sew them back on, and let the Blood Queen wreak bloody vengeance upon the world.

The only one who could possibly stop her is Hellboy (David Harbour), a demon-spawn raised to do “the right thing” by his eccentric adopted father, Professor Bloom (Ian McShane). But Hellboy is a little busy right now, since he’s gone to Mexico to collect an old friend who went rogue after a demon-hunting mission, only to find he has gone native. And then he traipses off to hunt down and kill three giants who have recently emerged in England, only to face betrayal, disappointment, and stumble upon the Nimue plot.

Now he has a limited amount of time to thwart her and save the day, before she washes the whole world in blood and brings about a new empire built on the old one’s bones.

Problem is, Hellboy doesn’t know if she is actually worth killing, since he feels kind of… well, sorry for her.

If the movie had focused more on Hellboy’s sense of alienation, not knowing where he belongs, and longing to fit into humanity without being persecuted or scaring people, it might make for a more resonating story; instead, the filmmakers came up with paper-thin characters (none of them really have motivations or personalities beyond the broad strokes) to flesh out a story built primarily around grotesque images, scenes, and almost-constant gore, from the opening in which we see Nimue hacked apart to the gallons of blood that flow later. And that doesn’t even touch on a disturbing scene in which Hellboy confronts a child-eating witch.

I thought the earlier Hellboy movies were a bit fun—they were less about the occult than they used it as a way to explain Hellboy’s existence, but here, we bathe in darkness and evil.

Q & A

Learn about spiritual darkness versus light

We learn that Hellboy’s parents were a witch and a demon who gave birth to him in Hell; that Nimue is a powerful sorceress; about a witch who eats babies and small children (and looks terrible, walking backwards on all fours like a crab, and demanding one of Hellboy’s eyes as a sacrifice, after kissing him with her hairy tongue); we hear about séances, and his friend Alice (Sasha Lane) is a psychic.

He faces down countless demons and monsters, all of them hideous and some of them with the heads and partial bodies of animals (including a vicious, profanity-spewing tusk-faced demon boar).

It is… a lot. And what the main problem is, is there’s no goodness or light to combat it. There’s only Hellboy. And when he touches certain magical objects, like the famous sword Excalibur, he sees visions of himself ruling in Hell and slaughtering the masses.

This opens the door for interesting conversations about whether people are born bad (fated) or choose evil, and if Hellboy can overcome his own evil roots to become good, and “earn” a chance at salvation.

Q & A

About the fall of mankind to worldwide depravity

But what you will probably remember the most is how gross this film is.

It has a good cast, but Barbour is mostly wasted in the cynical lead; the other Hellboy loved kittens and candy bars and was a likable grouch. This one has no redeeming character traits that made me root for him. It all falls kind of flat, and despite the copious amounts of action scenes, swearing, and almost constant violence, it feels longer than its two hours.

Some of the plot twists make no sense, and are just there to pad the running time or to lead into a battle sequence. I felt bored, disgusted, and wanted it to be over twenty minutes before it finally drew to its conclusion.

If you will remember, the original films had a terrific host of minor characters who weren’t as authentic to the comic books as this film is, but they were all likable, from the water creature who loved to read to Hellboy’s fire-starting girlfriend, Liz. There’s none of that warmth, lovableness, or fun to be found in this dark movie, which loves to wallow in the dreck and fling entrails at the screen. Skip it.

  • Occult: Extreme— • demons • witches • spirits • magic and magic spells • occultic practices • seer
  • Violence: Extreme— includes impalements, dismemberments, cannibalism, decapitations, gun violence, sharp weapons violence, much blood and gore, etc.
  • Vulgar/Crude language: Very Heavy— • f-words (30+) • s-words (12) • pr*ck • d*ck • d*ck-head • w*nker • t*dger • “Grow a pair” • b*llocks • cr*p (6) • a**hole (2) • a** (2) • b*tch / b*tching • son of a b*tch • b*stard • “Just like this but with strippers” • “Yellow as p*ss”
  • Profane language: Very Heavy— • J*sus Chr*st (2) • Chr*st • G*d-d*mn (3) • d*mn (2) • H*ll (4) • G*d (2)
  • Vulgar/Crude language: Moderate
  • Nudity: Moderate— • topless young woman • topless males
  • Wokeism: Mild
  • Drugs/Alcohol: Minor
  • Sex: None

Learn about DISCERNMENT—wisdom in making decisions about personal entertainment

cinema tickets. ©  Alexey SmirnovEvery time you buy a movie ticket or buy or rent a video you are in effect casting a vote telling Hollywood, “I’ll pay for that. That’s what I want.” Read our article

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Secular Movie Critics
…Marshall and screenwriter Andrew Cosby went overboard with their R-rating, introducing so much gore and profanity that it, quite frankly, gets dull. The flat performances and incoherent story do not help matters. …
Alan Zilberman, The Washington Post
…frenetic and undercooked, full of limb-hacking, eye-gouging monster battles as well as an atmosphere of apocalyptic grunge that signifies next to nothing…
Owen Gleiberman, Variety
…gory, juvenile, and completely unnecessary…
David Sims, The Atlantic
…It's just lousy. …
John DeFore, The Hollywood Reporter
…Exuberantly gross and proudly ridiculous…
Vince Mancini, Uproxx
…“Hellboy” is a thin, clumsy, and charmless attempt at rebooting… populated by forgettable characters motivated by confusing stakes, cheaply executed visuals, and distracting editing…
Meg Downey, IGN
…lands with a thud that’s loud and dark — but almost instantly forgettable…
Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times
…The race for worst movie of the year is heating up. …This awful, disgusting, unfunny, idiotically plotted comic book flick offends the senses as much as the rankest subway car on the hottest summer day.…
Johnny Oleksinski, New York Post
…This Hellboy leans more into super-gory horror comedy than its predecessors, trading nuance for ripped-off limbs and boasting as much subtlety as a stone fist to the face…
Brian Truitt, USA Today
…Over the course of two hours, the mania becomes exhausting and numbing…
Tasha Robinson, The Verge
…this is a reboot in need of a reboot…
John Nugent, Empire
…It couldn’t be more boring than this. …
Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian (UK)
…In the end, the movie leaves us stuck with unmoving drama and increasingly numbing carnage…
Tom Russo, The Boston Globe
…The insanity was almost incomprehensible… a bloodthirsty zest for grime and gore… You don't so much as watch this movie as submit to being pummeled by it. …[2]
Katie Walsh, Tribune News Service
…At two hours, “Hellboy” feels closer to three. And yet there still seems to be something missing.
Peter Hartlaub, San Francisco Chronicle